By Victor D. Infante| Telegram & Gazette Staff
For the Rev. Aaron R. Payson, minister of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Worcester, Halloween is a personal matter. Halloween is all about me! he jokes, before admitting it's his birthday. My earliest memory of the holiday was having to come to terms with the fact that everyone wasnt celebrating my birthday by getting dressed in costumes and sharing candy!
Personal connection aside, Payson is hardly alone for his love of a holiday that for some is frivolous and spiritual for others. But as Halloween plans, like everything else this year, get upended because of COVID-19, one's forced to ask one's self: Who even needs Halloween in 2020? In a year which has brought us a pandemic, uprisings against social injustice, electoral uncertainty and murder hornets, who needs to fake being scared? But maybe that's the wrong way to look at it. Maybe 2020 is the sort of year for which Halloween has been preparing us.
Fear the Reaper
Halloween is a door thats been painted over many, many times, says musician James Keyes. The ancients, the Christians and modern pop culture have all put a coat on it in their own image, but we walk through the portal the way we see it, not the way it sees us.
And there's very little agreement as to how its seen, but for some, such as the Rev. Jane Willan of First Congregational Church of Paxton, it's the holiday's roots that make it interesting. It means holy evening' and dates back to the pagan times when there was a celebration of the end of the harvest. It was believed that the walls between the worlds were thin and spirits could pass through. The day immediately after Halloween is All Saints Day when we pray for the saints of the church and then the next day is All Souls Day when we pray for those who have died.
Likewise, author J.J. Griffin IV, chief editor at Crown Hill Press, says, Halloweens symbolism and customs are largely drawn from the celebrations once commonly held in rural European agricultural communities when the last crops were harvested prior to the start of winter; simultaneously when the animals who would not make it through the cold and dark season ahead were slaughtered. These people understood that even though the land showed signs of decay and death, as the days length decreased, in time the light would increase and life return to the land as well, with the decaying matter providing the nutrients for next years crops life coming from death.
Griffin says that knowing that the season was at an end but that a new one would be sown from its ashes kept hope in the hearts of those who did not understand the science behind the seasons. Rather than let the darkness consume them, people faced their fears and reveled in that which made them afraid.
This is something that Payson has observed in the modern holiday, saying that for him, Halloween has become a time of introspection … On some level, I think the opportunity to experience that which might at other times be frightening, as an act of courage in the face of all that can provoke anxiety on any other day. To dress up, is to put on the armor of protection, which provides both anonymity and a deeper sense of ability to face that which frightens us.
In some ways, Halloween is appropriately enough for the times an inoculation against fear of the unknown.
When these thoughts about Halloween and its purpose are posed to psychologist Dr. Graham Campbell, he agrees that there's something to them. We dress our children up as the things they're afraid of, he says, but we send them out to get innocent candy. Campbell says the holiday uses our internal symbolism and internal monsters. Other things come out in dreams, on Halloween we bring them out into the waking world. That's the inner images and dream images of monsters.
That seems to be the takeaway for poet Richard Fox, who reminisces that, when he was a child, we were given treats like warm brownies, goody bags (small themed bag filled with a mix of candy corn, jawbreakers, licorice, etc.), homemade caramel candy apples, full-size candy bars, and cups of apple hot cider with a cinnamon stick. Halloween was a night to be afraid of imaginary monsters not real ones who may live in our midst.
Trick or Treat
For some, the holiday is less shadow and metaphor, and is more grounded in family, community and, of course, candy.
To me its just a fun occasion, said City Manager Edward M. Augustus Jr., a time for the nostalgia of your youth and the memories of being with friends or family, dressing up and walking through your neighborhood. Obviously, the candy is a big deal, too, but really its all about the children making memories they will look back on and cherish the rest of their lives.
Councilor-at-Large Gary Rosen can relate to that sentiment, recalling that, as a child, Halloween reinforced that I was a chocoholic. My belly does that now. Sporting creepy costumes with high capacity pillowcases in hand, my older brother and I would hit the streets of Tatnuck a few hours before sunset. In those days, adults knew the importance of Halloween so they didn't give out teases of fun size chocolate bars. The bars were so large that soon we had to return home to empty our pillowcases before venturing out for a second round. Too old to go trick-or-treating, later I identified with Linus of Peanuts comic strip fame as he sat in the pumpkin patch waiting for the arrival of the Great Pumpkin. Linus believes the pumpkin patch is lacking in hypocrisy so it kinda is the opposite of Worcester City Hall. And now I'm in City Hall where we just denied Halloween by banning trick-or-treating. Oh, how young Gary Rosen would be disappointed in his future self.
But even though this has been a time for making hard, sometimes unpopular decisions such as that, many still hold an unabashed love of the holiday, such as drag performer Aria FiftyOne, who claims Halloween is the reason she does drag. Halloween is a huge part of my identity, she says. Fall brings my joy, apple picking, pumpkin picking and carving, dressing up … and just overall macabre and scary things just interest me. I love everything stereotypical Halloween. It's all year for me. It reminds me of working at the hayride with my dad and fond memories.
For Muhammad Salman Khan, a queer activist and journalist in exile from Pakistan, currently living in Worcester, the holiday has been a source of fascination and bewilderment, with its off mix of secularism, Christianity and pagan religions.
Honestly, I haven't celebrated Halloween before in my life until I came to the U.S., he says, Just seen it in cartoons and movies growing up, of how children dressed up in scary costumes would go out trick-or-treating in their neighborhoods. Last year, when I was living with my uncle in Medford, I'd the privilege of celebrating Halloween. I was able to carve my pumpkin from scratch and light it up outside in his front yard. At first, I just didn't know what to do with the extremely heavy pumpkin but then I saw my uncle and his friends who'd carved pumpkins before, so I followed them, took out the carving knife, and then pasted my drawing paper on the pumpkin to carve it and what came out was a masterpiece. I was quite proud of myself to have carved out my first pumpkin.
Perhaps it's the amorphousness of the holiday's roots that makes it so accessible: One can approach it at one's own level. It can hold perspectives as diverse as District 5 City Councilor Matthew E. Wally, who says, Halloween is a time for people to enjoy life while playing fantasy and eating more Reeses Peanut Butter Cups than they care to admit, and musician Kayla Daly, who says the holiday represents the creative dark power within all of us. A time of year where change is embraced and death is seen as a beautiful and integral part of living.
If there's anything we have in common, it's that we all, eventually, find ourselves looking into the dark. And lately, things have been very dark, indeed.
Into the Dark
Artist Savonne Pickett says Halloween doesn't really mean much to her personally, but she's definitely cognizant of how dark 2020 has been, saying, I think the most frightening thing about this year is knowing whether something bad is going to happen again and how often is it going to keep happening until things to get better in the world. What I have done to face this fear is keep an open mind and continue to be optimistic about future events and how we as people need to handle our actions.
That perhaps has been the single biggest irony in this unconventional year: It's something we're both experiencing together, as a community, but also alone as individuals, and as such, everyone's response to the 2020's shadows have been different.
I think its been scary for many families and small businesses wondering what the future will bring, says District 3 City Councilor George Russell. I have attempted to stay in constant contact with many constituents who I normally visit in person or see in coffee shops or neighborhood meetings. This year most of the contact has moved to phone calls and Zoom meetings. Constituent services and requests dont stop, in fact they grow in number during the shutdown and pandemic. People expect their councilor and their city government to be on the job, pandemic or no pandemic. And I have been, just more remotely.
Augustus says that he has been inspired by our men and women on the front lines. We saw doctors, nurses, first-responders and volunteers overcome their own fears, and put themselves at risk to help others and save lives. They turned their fear into a resolve that truly made a difference.
Rosen says that President Trump's irresponsible behavior after catching COVID-19 and the mismanagement of the pandemic by our federal government is what scares me. No matter what your political persuasion, we all know that the lives of at least 100,000 Americans could have been saved by choosing pandemic science over politics. I'm scared no, I'm terrified that things will not change as the second wave of COVID-19 intensifies here in Worcester and beyond.
Steve Quist, of the Facebook community Worcester Politics 101, says "2020 has been Nightmare on Elm Street with the needless COVID-19, 215,000 deaths and another 7,750,000 infected, a POTUS undermining our elections all too willing to use a military-grade heat ray gun on American protestors."
Campbell is a big believer in listening to scientists and experts when it comes to COVID-19, and with good reason: I caught it. I was very sick for three months. He says he was exhausted, dizzy, had what he described as COVID brain, which meant his thinking was cloudy, was unsteady on his feet and had constant GI distress and no appetite. I was very miserable, he says, adding that he's more cautious now than before he caught the disease. Before I got it I was not very afraid of it, he says. Now I take care of myself, don't go into crowds, those sorts of things. The inner monster has become the outer monster with COVID, he says, adding that it also exasperates people's sense of loneliness.
Campbell agrees that it's possible the stress of the pandemic has exacerbated other social woes, including political and social issues, issues that were already festering.
2020 has been a scary year for a lot of us, says Khan, but what has scared me is this uncertainty, near hopelessness, and isolation that I have been living since last year when I came to the U.S. I am an asylum seeker, who is fleeing persecution in his own country … I have to navigate an increasingly hostile asylum process all on my own, with little financial, emotional and social support. I have been afraid of the political changes that I see in America, I am afraid of ICE and the threat of deportation. I fear that my case is being delayed more. That could be very risky for me. I am afraid of the dangers to my life that exist due to my activism, also I am afraid of being all alone in this most difficult journey of my life. I am afraid of being homeless, I struggle daily with depression and suicidal thoughts as I cope with the trauma that I have to go through forced migration, displacement and exile. I just wish to work on the cause of equality that I believe in, I wish to live my life as a free person and study what I am passionate about. I wish to be the change that I wish to be and do good for America, my new home, and its people.
Khan's not alone. Talking to people about what they're afraid of this year brings a staggering list, everything from being killed by police to the end of the world from climate change. They fear pandemic, yes, but what's most heartbreaking is how much people seem to fear each other.
What has frightened me the most about 2020 is us, says horror filmmaker Skip Shea, whose short film SEEDS was recently screened online by the Italian Horror Festival. The rise of fascism, the denial of science and the deep desire to be led. Ive tried to face it by attending as many protests as I can and by supporting the people locally who are trying to effect change for the better. But honestly, none of that makes me feel any better. I do think a lot of people in the generations behind me are on the right path. Im just concerned about what the road will be like to get there.
He's not alone in that concern not by a mile.
It has been a very scary time for most of us, says Payson. Between the pandemic, electoral politics, economic uncertainty, systemic racism in all of its lurid forms and the civil unrest that it has inspired, Halloween will be a time to pause this year and consider who it is that has helped me make it to this moment in my life, and to honor them prayerfully. It will also be a holiday to remember the origin of that human strength that is accessible to all, which energizes us to persevere, and rise to the challenges of this moment through acts of courage, empathy, service, and support for the people and communities that sustain us. These acts are the armor that I rely on during this difficult time. I don them every day and I admire those I witness whose commitment to justice and peace far surpass my own, as well as the strength and fortitude that are alive and grow through simple acts of kindness, witness, and advocacy, for these are the bedrock of beloved community to me.
For his part, Griffin looks at a world he admits is terrifying, and still finds reasons to hope reasons deeply rooted in the holiday: The cycle of life and death is one which frightens us all and one which we avoid recognizing as often as we can. As the world around us grows darker, and we increasingly see decay, we must recall that these are parts of a cycle which we can use to our advantage if we live in tandem with it. Thus, this is the perfect season for culling that which needs to be let go and to be fearless in the face of change, to acknowledge that change is a part of life, and to embrace it rather than fear it. Let go of that which is decaying matter and let it become the nutrients for your own future growth, knowing that there are brighter days ahead.
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Who needs Halloween in 2020?: This is the year the holiday has prepared us for - Worcester Telegram
