‘I was more afraid of living with HIV than dying from it’ – Telegraph.co.uk

Matthew Hodson, 53, lives in Clapham with his husband. He is the Executive Director of NAM aidsmap, a charity providing information and news for people living with HIV and medical professionals

I found out I was HIV positive on the 30th of April, 1998. At the time, there were new drugs that could treat HIV but they had side effects, which could include visible symptoms such as facial wasting and buffalos hump. So, I didnt expect to live to 50 but I was almost more scared of having to carry the physical indications of living with HIV than I was of dying.

Were now much better at appropriate dosing and side effects are rare (in fact, the UK is a world leader in the treatment of HIV). Ive been on treatment since 2003 I take three pills every day and the levels of virus in my blood are undetectable, which means I cant pass it on to sexual partners. I feel fitter and stronger than I ever have.

I wasnt particularly into fitness in my 20s and 30s, other than being vain about my body. I used to be an actor and my biggest connection with physical fitness was once playing the role of a fitness fanatic.

But getting old is frightening and I got serious about exercising when I hit 40, more for my emotional health than anything else. I have been noting down my gym sessions since 2009 and they always increase when Im going through challenging times, such as when my father died and then again when my mother died last year.

Pre-lockdown I would go to the gym three times a week and do heavy lifting. I was training for visible results, but two years ago, I got a fitness coach and he has taught me to balance my body with things like back exercises.

Since March, Ive been doing threeto four workouts a week at home. I had some weights and have since added resistance bands.

Im not planning to go back to the gym for now its too high risk an environment. Even though people with HIV are not considered vulnerable, having seen friends get Covid quite severely, I want to avoid all the risk I can.

Pre-lockdown I had a place on the London Marathon and was in week ten of my training. I have continued running outside two or three times a week for between 30 and 90 minutes. Running is my thinking space; the time I process problems. Its therapeutic except when I have to do interval training, which I loathe because its hurts. But its effective. Im gutted that I wont run the Marathon this year but still hope to run it in 2021.

I stopped eating red meat when I was 17. I still eat fish and poultry. Im convinced by the ideological arguments of vegetarianism and veganism I just havent taken that step yet. Ive reduced animal produce significantly in my diet though.

Breakfast:Bowl of muesli, blackberries from the garden and oat milk.

Lunch:Baked potato with olive oil, butter substitute with cheese and/or mustard

Dinner:Roasted duck breast and vegetables, chicken stir fry, warm salad of butternut squash with courgette and goats cheese or spaghetti bolognese made with turkey mince. Fresh fruit.

Alcohol:More than the recommended units. And, it got worse under lockdown. Wine or vodka mostly.

Sugar: If theres chocolate in the house I will eat it.

Sleep: I struggle with stress and anxiety and that affects my sleep so I usually get about 5-6 hours. If Im anxious in the day, I might occasionally take a sleep aid such as Nytol before bed.

Guilty pleasure I dont feel guilty about anything.

Follow Matthew on Twitter @matthew_hodson and Instagram @matthewhodsonlondon. Click here for more about aidsmap.

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'I was more afraid of living with HIV than dying from it' - Telegraph.co.uk

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