Ew, gross! was a common response to my plans to attend a bison field harvest at Roam Ranch outside of Fredericksburg, Texas. The event, held in January 2020, allowed participants to witness the entire slaughtering process of a Plains bison, from the transitioning through its end of life, as the Eventbrite description delicately phrased it, to the skinning, evisceration, and deboning. The ranchs events and tours that teach visitors about regenerative agriculture are returning this fall after a hiatus due to COVID-19.

Contradicting common ideas of butchery, the event descriptions continue with language like: Participants will have the ability to honor and show gratitude for the ultimate sacrifice that will eventually feed you and your families. With a short lunch break of bison chili and sourdough bread, the celebration concluded with a sausage-making demo and the freshest possible bison tartare.

Like many young people, I experimented with non-violent diets in my 20s and early 30s, namely vegetarianism and pescetarianism. Then, I moved to a different country to teach English as a Peace Corps volunteer. My Colombian host family never quite understood the concept of vegetarianism, and after a couple of months of eating yuca in all its possible forms, I succumbed and started enjoying the chicken and rice. By the end of my service, I was a full-blown carnivore, but I promised myself that one day I would show appreciation to the animals I eat by participating wholly in the process it took to get them on my plate.

Because my father was a fisherman instead of a hunter and Ive never toured an abattoir, I was like the majority of Americans, eating in ignorant bliss of what it requires to turn land animals into food. Before reading The Omnivores Dilemma, the book that earned Michael Pollan a James Beard award, I had already wanted to take a more direct, conscious responsibility for the killing of the animals I eat. Otherwise, as Pollan writes, I really shouldnt be eating them.

For Pollan, taking that responsibility meant cooking a meal exclusively with ingredients he had grown, foraged, caught or killed himself with the main course consisting of wild Californian pig. For myself, I wasnt ready to buy a gun and get a hunting license, but I felt the urge to look squarely at the death of an animal I would come to eat. For if the suffering of the animal was more than I could justify, I would either need to return to vegetarianism or willfully continue eating barbecue sandwiches while ignoring my moral qualms.

For years, I searched for an opportunity to take this look at the entire food chain that didnt involve potential exposure to macabre scenes like those described in Upton Sinclairs The Jungle. Then I learned about Roam Ranch, a 450-acre regenerative farm near Fredericksburg that, among its many missions, includes hosting events that are designed to connect people to the source of their food while honoring the animals and land that provide it. Along with annual bison harvests, Roam Ranch collaborates with Jesse Griffiths of the New School of Traditional Cookery for spot-and-stalk axis deer hunts, and every November theres a Thanksgiving turkey harvest where participants are guided in how to kill, defeather and eviscerate their own pasture-raised, heritage breed holiday main course.

In a Forbes story titled Inside An Epic Experiment: Where The Buffalo Roam, Texas Agriculture Thrives, Roam Ranch owners Taylor Collins and Katie Forrest share they were once vegans. They turned into conscious carnivores when Forrest began having joint issues while training for an Iron Man competition.

We were vegans because we cared about the welfare of animals and the welfare of the environment, Collins told me, and then we realized we were opting out of a system that helps take care of those values.

At Roam Ranch, animals arent just a future meal. They play a pivotal role in healing the land, a phrase Collins frequently uses to describe regenerative agricultures aim of restoring degraded soil by imitating natures way and rehabilitating biodiversity.

Collins and Forrest are part of a growing wave of first generation farmers searching to improve our countrys food systems. The USDA reports that recently released census data indicates that one in four food producers are currently beginners with less than ten years of experience. Without a background in agriculture, owning a ranch was a far-off dream for the Austin couple, but when they turned their new carnivorous diet into meat-based power bar company EPIC Provisions which they sold less than three years later to General Mills for a reported $100 million they suddenly had the means to buy a significant amount of land.

Unlike most property owners, the couple wants wild-growing weeds and as many animals walking around and pooping on their property as possible. The residential herd of 100 bison grazes in rotations, naturally tilling the soil with their hooves while simultaneously depositing seeds and enriching it with natures original fertilizer manure and urine.

Enriching soil fertility is an important concern because, as some studies show, healthy grasslands are more effective at capturing and sequestering carbon than forests. Collins and Forrest believe that with proper management, grazing ruminant animals can help reverse the effects of climate change, a particularly urgent matter. A 2014 United Nations' food and agriculture report stated that all of the worlds top soil could be gone within 60 years if current rates of degradation continue.

The second annual bison field harvest began with a tribute to bison Number 26. Born on the Tallgrass Prairie National Preserve in Osage County, Okla., she spent two happy years at Roam Ranch, but her inability to get pregnant marked her for the days harvest.

The shooter would be Robby Sansom, formerly the CFO and COO of EPIC Provisions and currently a partner with Collins and Forrest in their newest venture Force of Nature Meats. He reminisced about the first time he saw Number 26 step off the trailer from Oklahoma and how the team at Roam had worked to protect her from the challenges of ranch life. In the two years she was there, 26 contributed to a rapidly improving soil quality, and she would continue to contribute to the community by soon feeding it. An experienced elk hunter and trained sharpshooter, Sansom admitted he was sad and nervous about shooting her, but believes thats what made him the right person for the job.

He rode out on a truck with butcher Jesse Griffiths and ranch manager Cody Spencer while I, with another 50 participants, sedately watched from about 120 yards away. Number 26, whom I struggled not to christen with a pet name, would be killed in the most humane way possible with an unexpected shot through the brainstem from a Winchester Magnum.

After about an hour of waiting for Sansom to get a safe, clean shot, the crack of the rifle came unexpectedly. Number 26 was already on the ground by the time my eyes found her, kicking one back leg while other bison with cocked tails crowded around her. Spencer quickly drew the herd away before Sansom fired a second shot to the head for surety. To complete the act, Griffiths cut her jugular vein with a hand-forged Michael Hemmer knife. He tried to cut more veins in the leg to accelerate the exsanguination process, but she continued to enigmatically kick that same leg at him, even though her chest was motionless, and a puddle of thick blood bubbled on the grass around her. Within ten minutes of the first shot, she lay completely still.

The small crowd of viewers swiftly and gingerly hiked over large discs of bison dung to get to the slain animal. At this point, Collins invited participants to place their hands on her, and to feel her hair, hooves and horns. For myself, I only felt compelled to touch the last kicking hoof as a way of telling her it was all over. Resembling a ritual, it was a way of saying thank you to Number 26 for her sacrifice. Rituals and ceremonies that today have been reduced to saying grace are what allowed our ancestors to overcome the shame of killing animals, Pollan writes in The Omnivores Dilemma, a book that Collins says changed the trajectory of his life.

After a few somber minutes, a chain was strung between the Achilles tendon and bone of her hind legs, and she was hoisted up on the hay fork of a tractor. Her massive body seemed like a religious icon in a procession as we slowly walked with the tractor to the shade of a tree for the undressing.

Luckily, the high was 55 degrees that day in Fredericksburg, so we didnt have to contend with stench or flies as we watched Griffiths skin and eventually break the animal apart into tenderloin, ribeye and flank steaks. The evisceration was not at all as gruesome as I thought it would be, possibly because I was surrounded by a lot of staid men wearing camo and Texas A&M gear who had done this before, but mostly I think it was the cool weather and Griffithss professional focus that was as sharp as his knives.

Participants that were mostly men but women, too all of varying ages, bonded while deboning the meat and preparing it for packaging. For Bharath Dade, a database engineer from Guntur, India who lives in Austin, it was his fourth visit to the ranch. He says he keeps coming back because the Roam Ranch folks are among the few people working on implementing solutions to our many problems.

My sadness for Number 26s plight diminished as I enjoyed a delicious bowl of bison chili. If only all the animals I eat could have this much dignity in their death, I wished.

Fortunately, Whole Foods has named regenerative agriculture as one of the top ten food trends of 2020, and the Rodale Institute plans to mainstream Regenerative Organic Certified (ROC) products with a label by the end of the year. CEO Jeff Moyer says of the move: Growing food that promotes soil health, animal welfare and social justice is what regenerative agriculture is all about; by labeling foods regenerative organic, individuals will be able to connect with a full suite of values that extend beyond the food that they are consuming.

Force of Nature products are already in Whole Foods and Natural Grocers. Were where organic was 30 years ago, Collins tells me with excitement. His goal is to build supply for a coming demand.

The next day, I left the wild and winding Texas Hill Country hopeful for the future, inspired by my fellow Texans and immensely grateful to Number 26.

Roam Ranch has recently reopened to the public for ranch tours, where participants can meet the bison herd and other livestock while learning about regenerative agriculture. For those wanting a more intensive experience with animal butchery and processing, guided axis deer hunts begin this fall. Additionally, the third annual turkey harvest continues this November, and there are two bison harvests scheduled for January. All events are held outdoors with plenty of room for social distancing. The full event schedule can be found on RoamRanch.com.

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Becoming a 'conscious carnivore': Texas bison harvest shows meat-eaters how to honor the animal - The Dallas Morning News