No expendable generation: On the spirituality and strength of our vulnerable elders – The San Diego Union-Tribune

It was just about the time the COVID-19 death rate began skyrocketing among older Americans when this began to circulate: #BoomerRemover.

Then there is the comment from Texas lieutenant governor about sacrificing us on the altar of the economy.

And other suggestions that, in a pandemic where eight out of 10 deaths have been among people 65 and older, elder lives are expendable.

It made me wonder what other seniors thought and to ask, in the words of Methodist founder John Wesley, How is it with your soul?

I found a Sikh couple in Del Mar who have lived 161 years between them and say the older they get, the more spiritual and philosophical they feel.

And an 81-year-old United Church of Christ minister who continues to work on her sense of humor by reading books by Bill Bryson and Dave Barry with her 95-year-old husband.

And an Episcopal priest, who is several years shy of being a senior citizen but is a chaplain to hundreds of them. When he apologizes for not being able to visit them in person these days, they thank him for wanting to keep them safe. They tell him they are praying for him.

The Rev. Jason Samuel marvels at the deep sense of spirituality among people hes met as lead chaplain for St. Pauls Senior Services, which operates an extensive network of living communities and support programs here.

And its not because some are afraid of death, he says. Actually that is not it at all. Its because of their life experiences. What I find is an amazing openness.

Some tell him they thought they knew it all when they were 25 or 30. And now?

It doesnt matter if you see things differently than me or if you came to a different way of understanding God, at times. Whats important is the stuff that Jesus said to worry about loving one another, caring for one another. Dont sweat that small stuff, all that crazy stuff that really, in the end, doesnt matter.

Since March, he can only visit residents in person if they are dying or in crisis. He records a weekly worship service, which is sent to St. Pauls residents (and to parishioners at Christ the King Episcopal Church in Alpine, where he also serves as the pastor). If residents dont have a computer, staff members take them in small groups to areas where they can view it while social distancing.

So far, Samuel says, nobody in St. Pauls communities has tested positive for the coronavirus. It only takes one person to get infected in that facility and then it is possible to will spread like wildfire. They are entrusted to our care.

How is their spiritual health?

As usual, they provide for me an inspiration about how incredibly resilient, how strong and centered, so many of them are.

The 56-year-old chaplain works with a spectrum of seniors from those embracing life in independent-style apartments to those facing the end of life in a skilled-nursing facility. For the latter group, They dont care so much about knowing all the answers. They just want to know that they are not alone and that they are cared for. That they are treated with dignity.

The Rev. Victoria Freiheit, associate pastor for senior ministry at Community Congregational Church in Chula Vista, was ordained 22 years ago at the age of 59. I was a late bloomer.

As quarantining began, Freiheit heard from many seniors who were bored and feeling isolated. This is what she told them: OK, Im going to give you two things to do. One of them is find something to read thats deep, that you have to really plow through. And the other thing is to call somebody you think needs a phone call.

She doesnt hear that so much now. I think lately people have sort of hit a rhythm of this staying-at-home thing. They are kind of easing into it and getting used to it. Most of the elderly people I speak to are not in a hurry to go back and expose themselves.

Freiheit wont generalize about whether people get more religious as they age. But with working and raising children behind them, I think its just natural that you would have more time for spiritual thinking.

She adds: I think the future is important for seniors because as you get older and you get closer to death, you want your life to have meaning. So I think seniors focus on the meaning of life.

She describes herself as a religious person, with this stipulation: But not in a showy way, definitely not in a a showy way. I dont like that showy pietism. Its very off-putting.

Why should society care about their elderly?

There is a certain wisdom, I think, that comes with experience. So we do need to listen to our elders and every once in a while, one of those little gems will drop from their mouth.

She sends this message to the younger generations: Someday, you, too, will get old.

Manjeet and Gulzar Hunjan credit their Sikh faith with helping navigate this pandemic journey. She is 79 and has been a Montessori teacher for more than 50 years. He is 82 and a founding board member of Sikh Foundation San Diego, the largest and oldest Gurdwara in the county.

Whatever happens is meant to happen and you need to have the strength to face it and accept it, says Manjeet Hunjan. It wont go away, but accept it. This is what the religion has given us. It has given us faith and courage and strength to face whatever ups and downs come into your life.

Among the downs during COVID-19: shuttering her beloved Torrey Pines Montessori Center.

I used to get very upset and used to get very emotional because I have taught children all my life and what if I cant reopen it? What am I going to do? she says. But you know what? Eventually, you feel like maybe there will be something else out there. You just have to go along with whats going on. You just have to move on.

Her husband agrees. If something happens, I say something better is going to come out of this whole thing.

Sikhism, he adds, teaches one to be tolerant and accepting and to live in Chardhi Kala, which is the concept of aspiring to maintain a mental state of eternal optimism and joy so that you have the inner peace to go on under any circumstance.

Gulzar Hunjan says he and his wife dont think about death. That isnt why we are more faithful. Rather, its more about using the precious time we have more optimally.

The people of World War II are called the Greatest Generation. Will COVID-19 seniors be dubbed the Expendable Generation?

Samuel is adamant. Im like, no, no, no. They are valued. These are our elders who still have a lot of life and so many things to offer us and they are to be respected. Here, we dont say they are expendable. We say they are to be cherished.

Hunjan says if you met him, youd know he is not expendable. I am 82 and Im still very active in the community and there is a lot that I still want to do as an active participant in our local community.

Freiheit recounts a conversation she had with a man in his 50s who told her we should reopen and get back to business. He said, Let the old people die, they are going to die anyway, why protect them? She was shocked. To purposely put older folks lives on the line in order to save the economy is cruel and thoughtless.

Maybe its not the souls of senior citizens we should be worried about.

Dolbee is the former religion and ethics editor of The San Diego Union-Tribune. She also is a former president of the Religion News Association, where she continues to serve as a judge for its annual contests.