I've been thinking a lot about spirituality and narcissism -- and why it's such a seductive and dangerous combination.

For what is spirituality anyway?

The best way I can explain it at this moment is that it's the direct experience of personal transformation. The yuck of trying to share this amazing phenomenon with others is that all too often, the ego slips in and appropriates the process especially when we try to share our experience of spirituality via a professional persona. That is when we are most at-risk of becoming the spiritual narcissist.

For pretty soon, once again, the self becomes the object of focus instead of the surrender to the intelligence beyond it; and the result is that we stop transforming. We become fixated on our own beauty, prestige, and cosmic perfection as the vehicle to promoting our mission of being the person who "gets it," because maybe one day we felt our kundalini rise in our shoulder blade or because we drink algae for breakfast, hang out in a cool clique with good vibes, and our menstrual cycle aligns the moon.

None of this bad or wrong. In fact, it's desirable. We no longer need to view the spiritual path exclusively through the lens of monasticism and asceticism.

Our spirituality becomes about our senses, identity and version of truth, rather than a practice that is based in the caliber of our behavior, on the Hippocratic Oath of "doing no harm" and compassionately relating to those who are the most vulnerable and different from us.

Absent of this, others will still overlook our shadows and accolade us for our enlightenment, for our image conforms to the cult of self which this society worships. We learn to monetize our divinely transmitted gifts and develop a fan base of people who believe in their pain and desperation that someone else has the power heal them. In a world where most people suffer from some kind of self-esteem and insecurity issue, it seems like these gurus have the answer. However, the spiritual perfection they have found in moments of illumination that was once the salve becomes the poison. For as soon as we stop seeking to find and acknowledge our own devious impulses, we start taking advantage of those around us.

Think pedophilia in the clergy. Yoga teachers who make advances on young female students. Embezzlement of religious donations. To have a spiritual message and practice for the world while navigating the organized power structures humans have created for ourselves and the very immature nature of the subconscious mind requires an intricate embodiment of integrity that few can execute, and no incarnated human form all of the time.

All this said, we need guides.

We need messengers to direct us toward another way. We need mentors and people who can model for us a different approach to life that alleviates our psycho-emotional baggage and integrates ancient wisdom and timeless transformative energies into contemporary society.

Some people make their lives about mastering these facets of the human experience for their own betterment and also for others. If you feel called to be these people, as I so often do, than please shine your light! But keep the magnifying glass pointed inward, for people's hopes and feelings and openness to healing themselves are on the line.

People think we're ready for spiritual college, when we need to go back to kindergarten.

My most influential and practical teachers have always had a background in the traditions of AA and 12 step programs, which promote a daily, living, fearless moral inventory. Its a spiritual practice that encompasses the overlapping lessons of every major religion. It is a process of emotional maturation that is grounded in our flaws and the making of amends, under the premise that perhaps we become better at love by acknowledging the ways we're unloving. We overcome the grip of the self by shape-shifting for the sake of collective inspiration and harmony.

Show me a person who can admit to their bullshit without shame and alter their patterns to respect others, and I say, Show me the way.

I'm not asking for your perfection. Just a trustworthy companion as we mutually engage in this universal learning process.

Spirituality is about living our humanity - always. And it is a tough tightrope to navigate

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Spirituality, Narcissism & the Quest for Enlightened Humility - HuffPost