Summer can be fun play time and also a time of great development and growth for children and teens. Children grow naturally in the summer, but as parents, we want our children to grow in the most positive ways. With a little orchestration, your child can move from feeling and acting passive and dependent to being active and feeling empowered.

Here are eight strategies to help you steer your child into a place of self-reliance, inner strength and empowerment this summer.

1. Assess your child. Is your child overbearing in his inflated self-image? Or is your child more laid-back to the point that others walk on him? Or maybe he is passive-aggressive. None of these approaches to life are healthy. Reflect on what your child needs to change in order to be more balanced and able to express his needs and wants without hurting other peoples feelings. Help him to behave in a way that reflects a feeling of empowerment.

2. Role model empowerment. Allow your child to see and hear you tell it like it is in a nice, positive and healthy way. If you can demonstrate how to communicate with empowerment, your children will benefit tremendously.

3. Dont do things for them that they can do for themselves. Ask your children to do the things that they can do for themselves. Highlight their specific strengths when they do act independently to build their confidence and self-esteem. I really liked the way you asked that cashier for the correct change, or Thats a pretty impressive lunch you made, hitting all the food groups, for example.

4. Teach problem-solving skills. Problem-solving skills are the foundation for empowerment, because if you believe you can solve any problem then you have nothing holding you back. Kids can learn problem-solving if theyre taught to think in these terms:

What decision and actions do I need to make?

Evaluate options using pros and cons for each choice.

Make a decision.

Evaluate my choice by asking, Did my choice work and, if so, how?

5. Understand others. Teach your child that speaking up once or twice is all that is required to communicate his needs. If others are non-responsive, your child must accept that and move on to a place where he can get a response. Empowerment means cutting losses instead of hanging on in a negative situation.

6. Practice in real time. Practice empowerment with your children. If they were given the wrong meal at a restaurant or their hamburger wasnt cooked right, teach them to politely ask for it to be corrected.

7. Dont accept I dont know. I dont know seems to be the go-to phrase for many children and teens today. I cant think of a more disempowering response to a personal question or a question asked in the context of what someone thinks about a matter related to their own well-being. Its a cop-out phrase that dismisses the importance of ones own thoughts and feelings. Take the time to force the issue and get a response that matters.

8. Teach self-acceptance. When someone truly accepts themselves, that translates into empowered actions. True self-acceptance means there is little to fear, and the absence of fear is empowerment.

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Dr. Kate Roberts is a licensed child and school psychologist and family therapist on the North Shore. Ask a question or make a comment at kate@drkateroberts.com.

Excerpt from:

PARENT RAP: 8 ways to teach your child empowerment - The Salem News