NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Sunday, July 16, 2017, 10:54 PM
Margherita was certain that her son was going to die.
It was an October afternoon, and the Staten Island mother had been summoned to the home of her opioid-addicted 29-year-old.
She found him in the basement, ranting and raving, his eyes a scary shade of gray.
I knew this was the last day of his life, Margherita recalled.
Alicia Palermo-Reddy shares stories of opioid addiction
Her familys first call was to 911. The second was to a Staten Island nurse named Alicia Palermo-Reddy.
Margheritas family had first reached out to Palermo-Reddy for advice just a few days earlier.
To Margheritas surprise, Palermo-Reddy showed up at the emergency room and coached her on how to get the struggling young man into treatment.
Three days later, Margheritas son, who had resisted intervention attempts for years, was on a plane to an inpatient drug program in Texas.
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That was eight years ago. Margheritas son, who has remained drug-free, now has a steady job, a wife and three children.
She saved our lives, Margherita said of Palermo-Reddy.
Since then, Palermo-Reddy has helped hundreds of Staten Island families like Margheritas.
Working in her spare time and free of charge, shes quietly become the unofficial coach, mentor and therapist to an ever-expanding network of parents and addicts touched by the citys opioid crisis.
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Shes responsible for my son and so many others, Margherita said. I dont know what her reasons are. I dont know what drives her. Thats why I say shes an angel.
Growing up in Staten Islands Huguenot neighborhood, Palermo-Reddy never imagined that she would become a one-woman addiction help line.
Palermo-Reddy was working as a dental assistant before she landed a job as a registered nurse at a Staten Island hospital 12 years ago.
The 47-year-old mother of two, now known as the addiction angel, was shocked by what she saw when she started picking up overtime shifts at the hospitals detox unit.
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When I heard about heroin growing up, I thought about people in trailer parks with no teeth and black feet, Palermo-Reddy said. Seeing these young, beautiful kids with sores on them and heartbreaking stories was very disturbing to me.
The more and more that I saw it, I realized theres a big problem out here that nobodys talking about.
Word of her work with addicts spread quickly in the tight-knit South Shore.
Soon, Palermo-Reddys phone was lighting up with desperate phone calls and texts from friends and friends of friends who had relatives battling opioid addiction.
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Many of the callers were in the same seemingly hopeless situation: an adult-aged son or daughter who was resisting intervention attempts.
These are mothers saying, Were at a loss. We dont know what to do, said Palermo-Reddy, whose three nephews suffered from addiction. How do you not help these people?
In those early days, Palermo-Reddy would guide the callers as best she could and urge them to attend local support groups.
Several parents told her they had tried meetings but were turned off by them. So Palermo-Reddy began organizing her own support groups in the backyard of her mothers home.
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Demand was so great she moved them into a local school. Then she started a Scared Straight program for young people that regularly draws more than 100 people.
As her reputation grew, Palermo-Reddy realized she needed to arm herself with more information. She went to a local courthouse to learn about restraining orders. She talked with cops to understand the circumstances under which they will remove someone from a home. She went to detox centers to find out about admission policies and insurance issues.
Along the way, she honed her own tough-love approach.
Palermo-Reddy believes family members often enable the addicts drug use by setting red lines and then failing to act on them.
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An addict doesnt want to be an addict. Hes allowed to be an addict, Palermo-Reddy said. I dont want you to bury your kid, so Im going to tell you like it is. With this disease, you dont have time to waste.
Palermo-Reddy has developed a reputation for being available at all hours of the day and dropping everything to help a family in need of counseling.
One Staten Island mother recalled reaching out to Palermo-Reddy on a Friday night last year.
My son had just called me and said he had relapsed, said the mother. (Palermo-Reddy) was out to dinner and still she said, Ill meet you in Staten Island. Ill meet you at the house.
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In that late-night meeting, Palermo-Reddy mapped out a plan to send the 26-year-old son to a 30-day drug-treatment program in Florida. Hes now 14 months sober.
Alicia was with us every step of the way, the mother said.
Among the many recovering addicts Palermo-Reddy has helped is a 46-year-old former Cond Nast business director.
If I failed, I would rather tell my parents, my girlfriend, anybody but Alicia, said the man, who has been sober since last May. I know how much she cares about me and she has no reason to.
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Palermo-Reddys all-consuming role hasnt always been easy on her husband, Dennis, and children, Frank, 23, and Jacquelyn, 27.
Shes gotten better, said Jacquelyn. At my bridal shower, she was on the phone texting with parents. I had to tell her to put her phone away. Thats how bad it was.
On a recent Thursday night, about 30 people gathered in the auditorium of the Our Lady Star of the Sea Church for one of Palermo-Reddys monthly meetings.
There was a retired firefighter whose 30-year-old son was in the throes of opioid addiction, the parents of a 23-year-old who had been sober for three months and a burly recovering addict who had been clean since March.
Emotions were raw.
You get to the point where after 15, 20 years of this bulls---, you say, Wont you just die already, one father said.
Another father recalled having to threaten a doctor who kept prescribing his drug-addled son pain pills.
I told the doctor, You give him another pill, Im going to beat you to death, the man said.
Palermo-Reddy conducted the meeting like a hard-edged Dr. Phil, offering uplifting messages of personal empowerment and sharply worded pieces of advice.
As long as you remain weak, the addict is going to remain sick, she told one parent. You need to learn to stay two steps ahead of the addict and never allow him to manipulate you again.
At one point, Palermo-Reddy explained that one of her recovering nephews lives with her.
Hes 35 years old. I cannot prevent him from relapsing again, Palermo-Reddy said.
I support him. I encourage him. We love him. If he relapses, his bags would be packed before he would even have to tell me. He would know to pack his bags. Hes out.
The meeting ended after 9 p.m., and Palermo-Reddy walked out with a family she had never met.
The son had relapsed multiple times before finding out that he had cancerous brain tumors. He beat the cancer, then relapsed again, but was newly sober.
You have a powerful story. Get yourself clean, Palermo-Reddy told him. I want to see six months, and then Ill have you come speak with me.
The man nodded his head and smiled.
Whether he knew it or not, the odds were small that six months would pass before Palermo-Reddy would be seeing him again.
Alicia Palermo-Reddy invites readers whose lives have been touched by the scourge of opioid addiction to send her their stories. She will select a limited number to publish and offer her experience with similar cases. Names will be withheld for the sake of privacy but must be verified before publication. She can be reached at addictionangel@nydailynews.com.
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