A little less than 24 hours ago, I stood and watched six of the most intelligent and genial guys I’ve met get hurtled into and out of our atmosphere, to spend a couple of weeks in the void we’ve so aptly named space. They say third time’s a charm, and after attempting to view two other launches in the past (and failing), I’m glad it never worked out for me before and that this was the winning attempt. There’s some factor of emotion and investment when you know the folks strapped on top of such a dangerous, but beautiful machine. The launch (and the subsequent, on-going mission) has been the culmination of months of preparation for the flight crew and teams. And for me, it was a defining moment, the result of not only months of training and support of the crew, but years of dreams, hopes, prayers, passion, and dedication to the human spaceflight industry. I just couldn’t have asked for a better first experience.

I seem to always go back to this when I talk about my space adventures, but seventeen years ago, sitting in the viewing area of the Shuttle Flight Control Room (FCR), I still remember being in awe of the remarkable technological beauty that lay before me. To me, this was the epicenter of space…of everything I’d read and dreamed about for what, at the time, seemed so long. So, when I finally walked through the gates of Johnson Space Center as an employee, I was giddy with excitement.

In January, I arrived early, early one morning and made my way across a relatively empty parking lot, footsteps echoing on the pavement, towards Mission Control – the very ground human spaceflight pioneers and legends treaded years ago. That morning, I sat in the International Space Station (ISS) FCR for the first time, supporting my crew onboard the ISS during robotics operations. I watched as they used the concepts and techniques we’d trained months before, and I left later that morning, feeling as if things had come full circle, in a way. From eight to twenty-five, I had finally achieved my goal, the dream I’d had and declared as soon as I’d left the Shuttle FCR viewing room that fateful day years ago.

Thursday afternoon, I stared in utter silence and disbelief as the Orbiter Atlantis was unveiled to the world on Pad 39A, in preparation for her final voyage the following day. She majestically gleamed against the orange backdrop of her External Tank, flanked by the Solid Rocket Boosters that would propel her and her crew into the sky and literally out of this world. I returned later that night, to see her sparkling against the night sky; and though bright lights were shining to accentuate her innate beauty, I had no doubt in my mind that she didn’t need them at all.

And Friday…I have yet to be able to articulate my Friday in words. I still feel nothing could truly do such an awe-inspiring, magnificent, and beautiful sight justice. I still remember the feel of my heart beating with wild abandon, as I watched my crew walk out of their quarantine quarters and into the Astro Van, the recognizable, silver vehicle used to bring crew to the launch pad and their awaiting spacecraft, knowing just a few short hours later, they would be making an amazing, incredible trip.

The next four hours disappeared before I could even realize it, and there I was staring at the countdown clock, with the rest of the world, looking on as we came out of the t minus nine minute hold. And then, what seemed to be instantaneously, white smoke billowed around Atlantis, and every sensory organ was overloaded with intense feedback from her ascent into the heavens. I could not begin to accurately describe the magnitude of the rumbling heard and felt from our vantage point just three miles away, nor could I fully express the emotions that overtook me during those eight minutes until main engine cut off, when Atlantis finally embarked on her remaining orbits of our beautiful planet. With hands clasped over my mouth, a few tears in my eyes, I followed a trail of fire, propellant, and smoke, until Atlantis, a mere speck of light in the clear, cloudless, blue sky, disappeared.

I later realized that I was dumbfounded observing the entire sequence of events. Only hours after the fact did tears really well up in my eyes (and even now, as I recount), as it dawned on me that I’d witnessed a feat that truly characterizes the ingenuity, perseverance, innovation, and dedication of mankind. So, you see the dilemma – how can words even begin to do justice to a marvel of human creation? How can words even accurately begin to illustrate the result of the hard work and passion that is evidenced in every aspect of our human spaceflight industry? How can I even articulate an experience that has left me reeling so intensely and inspired me to continue to pursue one of my two passions in life (the other being music), in whatever capacity I am able?

This past week has been oddly bittersweet. Not only have I officially completed my training with the crew, but with a heavy heart, I’ve realized, despite my reluctance to do so, that what I’ve known during my life time with regard to the human spaceflight program is about to undergo a drastic change. The vehicle I grew up knowing, the one that’s just a few years older than me, is approaching its end, sitting on a deathbed that was laid a little over six years ago. And yet, after marveling at one of the greatest feats of human creativity and intelligence, I can’t help but feel comfort and hope that though our national human spaceflight capabilities will be on-hold, so to speak, temporarily…we will rise from this, more passionate, more resilient, more confident, more experienced, and more determined than ever before. Whatever plan gets finalized, however the budgets eventually roll out…we must not forget the innate yearning that we, as a species, have to explore. We now have the opportunity to draw from all of our many impressive years of experience and inspire others to not only marvel at our ingenuity and initiative, but contribute and invest in it. We now stand at a crossroads, at which we have the opportunity to honor those who have given their lives to help mankind escape the gravitational bonds that have tethered us to this lustrous planet for centuries, and explore the recesses of the unknown, bit by bit, in order to understand, appreciate, and provide for our species. Regardless of the next step, let us not forget that we are all passionate about the same thing; let us not ignore our inner child, who declared his/her desire to become an astronaut at age eight; and all the while, let us honor the legacies of the past, by embracing the possibilities and potential of the future. We owe those who’ve sacrificed their lives for the advancement of mankind at least that bit.