Even in the time of Covid-19, we are in the midst of a longevity revolution, living longer than ever before. Throughout 99% of human history, the average life expectancy at birth was less than 18. There have always been some 40-, 60- and even 80-year-olds, but not very many. Then, during the 19th and 20th centuries, with incredible breakthroughs in public health, antibiotics, refrigeration, pharmaceuticals, and self-care, more and more people started living longer and longer. The average life expectancy in the U.S. at birth has jumped from 35 at the time of the signing of our Declaration of Independence to 78.7 today. And due to anticipated medical breakthroughs in the next 10 years, many kids born this year will see their 150th birthdays. Already, two-thirds of all the people who ever have lived past 65 are alive today, according to research commissioned by my firm.

However, most of the way we have organized the worldand think about our livesis focused on youth. The chair youre sitting on probably was designed for the body of a young person. The wattage and brightness of many lights you use and stairs you climb are geared for the eyes and hips of the young. Even the auditory range programmed into many computers and cellphones is geared to youthful ears. When are we old? Average life expectancy was only about 45 when Germanys Otto von Bismarck, in the late 19th century, introduced the modern idea of retirement, which was set at 70. Similarly, the key roles of fathers emerged over the centuries before widespread longevity, and they principally had to do with procreating, providing, and protecting. Today, if were going to spend five, six, seven, or more decades being fathers, new roles and role models are needed.

Since Fathers Day, which like so many during this pandemic I celebrated Zoom-style with my adult children, Ive been thinking a lot about the purpose of fatherhood in this new age of aging. Im a gerontologist, psychologist, and author who has spent more than 40 years studying the longevity revolution. Ive also just turned 70. My wife and I have two fabulous kids. Our daughter Casey is 33 and lives in Los Angeles, while our son Zak is 30 and shuttles back and forth between Brooklyn and China. They are colorful, global, open-minded, and accomplished, but my wife and I dont feel as though our parenting days are done. Were not alone: Weve got friends 10 and 20 years older than us who are still involved in loving, supporting, nurturing, protectingparentingtheir children.

Due to rising longevity, we have a lot more time to be dads, far beyond procreating and child-rearing. With our longevity and our kids longevity, we have many roles to play throughout their life. Many of us will get to guide our children through childhood, young adulthood, adulthood, middlescence, even maturity. Many senior citizens today have kids who also are senior citizens.

In response to elevating longevity, a new stage of life has been emerging, the third agea concept borrowed from the European tradition of adult education.

In lifes first age, from birth to approximately 30, the primary tasks of men center on biological development, learning, partnering, and procreating. During the early years of human history, not that many people lived beyond the end of the first age. So, the thrust of society was oriented toward these most basic drives.

In the second age, from about 30 to 60, the concerns of adult life focus on the formation of family, child-rearing, and productive work.

However, a new era is unfolding, the third age, bringing new freedoms, challenges, and purposes to our roles in maturity, including fatherhood. First, with the children grown and many of lifes basic adult tasks well under way or accomplished, this less pressured, more reflective period allows further development of emotional maturity, wisdom, and ones personal sense of purpose. The third age has another appealing dimension: plenty of free time and opportunity to try new things and to contribute to society. In the next 20 years, Boomer third-agers will have 2 trillion hours of leisure time to fill.

However, last year, the average American retiree watched 49 hours of television a week. If we cut a few hours off that and gave more of ourselves to our community, everyone might be better off. The historically unique combination of longevity, time affluence, and wisdom produces the potential for elders to be seen not as social outcasts, but as a living bridge between yesterday, today, and tomorrowa critical role no other age group can perform. As men and as fathers in this third age, we need to focus not on striving to not only be youthful, but rather on being useful as well.

In our third age, perhaps we can also think about being fathers not just to our own children and grandchildren, but also to other families. Especially during this high-anxiety period, they need us to sharenot hoardour life experience and perspectives as coaches, mentors, teachers, guides, and surrogate dads and granddads. We have the opportunity to reach out to people in other neighborhoods and even other parts of the globe. Its time for older men to catch up to the moms, wives, and sisters of the world to be our best, most generous selves and become societys elders and fathers to the future. Even when Covid-related restrictions keep us at home, technologies allow us to meaningfully connect with others.

In terms of reaching their potential as role models and leaders, older fathers today rate about a C-minus. Why? Because we have allowed so much social and economic injustice on our watch. Years ago, a group of moms created MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) to save children from intoxicated drivers. Since then, mothers have led many transformative efforts. What are todays dads fighting for?

When 17-year-old Greta Thunberg first spoke out about the climate change disaster, I, as a Boomer dad, felt she was talking directly to me and other men in my generation. How could we have left the planet in such a mess? After all, its our childrens and their childrens home. When George Floyds brother spoke about his brothers killing, I felt that, as a dad, he was also talking directly to me. How could we tolerate the kind of systemic racism thats left so many Americans oppressed and damaged for so long? Shame on us for allowing so much injustice and discordance on our watch.

As I look at the older men parading as our leaders and role models now, its not pride that I feel. Many of them exhibit a shameful version of manhood, fatherhood, and elderhood. Its not honest. Its not kind. Its definitely not generative.

And what about the future? How concerned are todays fathers? What Ive seen in my 45 years of working in gerontology is that most people imagine a future in which they are still alive; beyond that, they seem far less concerned. Thats both near-sighted and self-indulgent.

Last fall, I was speaking at a conference at which the actor Harrison Ford was on the program. He spoke passionately about climate change and how we needed to get all the young people of the world to plant trees. Everyone cheered. In a private meeting with him afterward, I explained: In the United States, there are 68 million retirees, and worldwide there are one billion. Nobodys really tasked them with anything. If you had just a fraction of retirees, lets say a hundred million older men and women, planting trees in whose shade theyd never sit, it would send a different kind of a message to the world, a message about investing in and caring for the world beyond ones own years on earth. Ford smiled and said: I had never thought of that.

We need to do a far better job of showing what it means to be a mankind, strong, caring, empathetic, loving, and continually course-correcting, learning, and growing up ourselves, even though were older. The time has come to use our longevity bonus yearsthe decades well have that previous generations didntto create a different model of manhood, elderhood, and fatherhood.

Ken Dychtwald, a husband, father, psychologist, and gerontologist, is CEO of Age Wave and author of 17 books. The latest, What Retirees Want: A Holistic View of Lifes Third Age, is being published by Wiley this month.

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Men Are Living Longer Than Ever. A New Age of Life Comes With New Responsibilities. - Barron's