In the spirit of gadget reviews, I did get a free Google Android from Google I/O, but I don’t understand why I would want to use the Android when my iPhone already works fine without making noises or interrupting me with branding.

I do think that the Android is a great phone, but I don’t understand why its better than an iPhone.

My criteria for good:

• No branding
• No interruptions
• Reliably performs
• Easily replaceable
• Durable
• Runs web browser
• Phone works
• Complete control over the device without breaking it or paying for it or talking to anyone or reading anything complex or disclosing private information over its network and the device cannot be used against me in legal discovery

Google Apps on iPhone Safari are ridiculously good. Again: I don’t understand why automobile traffic isn’t consistently endangered as random people unexpectedly succumb to seizures of dysfunctional ecstasy because Google Apps just blew their minds. Google… Prole Phone? With ExTrA BuTtOnS!!!1? Dude, Gmail. Gmail is good. Just because something doesn’t make stupid noises doesn’t make it unworthy of your attention.