Captains log: Day 53 of the 2020 spring COVID-19 quarantine.Forty-two states still have active stay-at-home orders. The run on cleaningsupplies and toilet tissue continues. Schools are teaching through e-learning;youth ministries are conducting their outreach via Zoom, Instagram Live andFacebook Live; and families and friends are keeping up on their relationshipsby way of various apps. Social media for the win.
Shortly after Virginias stay-at-home order was enacted, Ireceived a few phone calls and emails from concerned parents and directors of religiouseducation. Many of their concerns revolved around predators gaining access toour youths and questionable apps. And the concerns are not unwarranted.
"We are seeing a big uptick in the amount of predatorsonline, you know, talking to children said Ariana Fajardo-Orshan, the U.S. attorneyfor the Southern District of Florida. Parents are preoccupied, getting theirwork done, and kids are being left off to kind of fend for themselves and thisis a predator's dream to have these kids home on the computer all day."
Lest we think that Northern Virginia is immune, news outletsreported April 21 that Fairfax County police arrested 30 Northern Virginia menand charged them with 68 felonies relating to soliciting minors online. Thearrests were part of Operation COVID Crackdown. These men, whose ages rangedfrom 20 to 74, were exploiting youths who were spending significantly more timeonline due to the current pandemic. Thats the bad news: There is an increasedpresence of predators looking for the opportunity to gain access to our youths.But as Romans 5:20 proclaims, Where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more.
The good news is that the hedge of protection that every parentwants for their child is accessible and within reach. There are five easy stepsparents can use to protect their children online: educate, communicate, investigate,collaborate and motivate.
Educate
First yourself, then your family. A good start would be todiscover what programs and applications your children use, not just for schoolbut with friends as well. Once you have a list, learn about the applicationsand then implement the strategies shared by the experts to protect them andhelp them flourish. My subject matter expert is Josh Ochs at SmartSocial.com.His parent/teacher app review includes a parental rating with a two- tofive-minute YouTube video explaining the good, bad and ugly for popular apps.It is updated weekly and gives customized practical advice on how to protectour youths with each app.
Communicate
Speak with your kids and let them know about the dangers andpotential impacts of poor online decisions on their relationships, collegechoices and potential job opportunities always, of course, in anage-appropriate manner. Discuss and determine family rules that can be writtendown. Make sure that each rule has a specific consequence if not followed.
Investigate
You know the old saying, Trust but verify. Children are proneto push boundaries and test limits. Ensuring the safety of our homes requiresus to not only lock and close all the physical doors and windows but thevirtual ones, too. Need some tools to assist? Again, check out SmartSocial.com.It has a great parental control software guide. Im also a fan of OurPact,which many parents use here in Northern Virginia.
Collaborate
Its true, they are required to use social media to completetheir schoolwork and there are very few other options to stay in touch withtheir friends but you are still the parents. Collaboration is not anegotiation. Work with your youths to develop healthy habits that ensure theirsafety while increasing trust in your proper relationship as the parent.
We all want our children to live by the Golden Rule: Do untoothers as you would have them do unto you. They should also live by the lesser-knownsecond Golden Rule: Whoever holds the gold makes the rules. Work with them toestablish fixed areas where the family may use their computers during specificslots of time. Once those boundaries are established and clearly communicated,stick to the plan.
Motivate
The best motivation is inspiration. Model the same healthypractices and habits you want your children to develop. When there is no needto be on social media, follow my daughters advice, Hang up and hang out.
During this pandemic, social media has allowed us to Go boldlywhere we have never gone before in the area of education. It has kept usconnected with family and friends while we shelter in place. But its just atool. Go make some memories outside of cyberspace and lets all be careful itsa jungle out there.
Deacon Silva is director of the diocesan Office of ChildProtection.
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Protecting youth online - Arlington Catholic Herald
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