Every year around this time I make resolutions for the next year, and every year when I check back, I find I have failed to keep most of them, especially the ones which would require the most effort.
In checking my resolutions for 2019, no wonder I didn't do well. I vowed to lose twenty pounds, go to the gym at least every other day, finish a few manuscripts, and tune out the thousands of fake tweets from politicians. I didn't keep a single vow.
But this year I decided to stick to a single promise: Keep it simple. It will get complex all by itself. I'm beginning with a pledge I made last year to unpack what the title of this column implies how best to live (what the philosopher Socrates defined as the goal of ethics) and keep it simple and practical.
Here are a few practical lessons for how to live ethically.
Treat others as you wish to be treated.
This is the gold standard (or Golden Rule as it is sometimes called) for ethical behavior. I have found it in many cultures and periods of history in different words but with the same meaning. The basic idea is to be compassionate with yourself and others because this is the glue that keeps us whole and healthy.
Don't project onto others your own weaknesses.
Most of us project onto others what we most fear in ourselves. Hence, someone who finds fault with others usually cannot accept the faults in themselves. The best way to handle such persons is to ignore them.
Follow the rules you should have learned in childhood: Don't lie, cheat, bully, or make others miserable.
When children do so, they are sent to their rooms or must sit in the corner. Perhaps we should apply the same tactics to adults when they lie, cheat, bully or make others miserable. We'd need a lot of chairs in corners to do so.
Accept responsibility for your own mistakes and don't blame others.
Those who blame others for their own errors never learn how to grow. They get stuck and stay in an infantile stage, often angry, seldom accepting themselves, lost in negative emotions.
Assess others not only by what they say but more importantly by how they act.
If a person claims to be honest but constantly lies, then you have a clear picture of who they are.
And here's a general rule for taking stock of a person. Ask yourself the most basic ethical question: if you had a child, would you want him or her to grow to be like the person you are assessing? It will tell you all you need to know about how to live. And go another step: Are you the kind of person you would want a role model for children?
I am making a copy of these vows and keeping them in my wallet to look over from time to time to see how I am doing.
John C. Morgan is a columnist and teacher of ethics. He can be reached at everydayethics@yahoo.com
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John C. Morgan: Making and keeping New Year's resolutions - The Mercury
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