Say hello to the Japanese Snuggie. The Two-Legged Sleeping bag. The Human Larva. Say hello to...this. There is no pitchman charismatic enough, no paid spokesperson straghtfaced enough, no model poised enough to give this the informercial it so clearly deserves.

The legs on this thing almost feel like a cruel joke. Sure, you've got a mobility that you could never get with a tradition sleeping bag, but what good is that without hands? Without the ability to pee? And without the dignity you sacrificed in becoming a six-foot-tall human tadpole, except without the regular tadpole's prospects for a happier future?

But perhaps I'm missing the point: while the Snuggie is a instrument of laziness, the Japanese Walkable Sleeping Bag is a tool for self-improvement. See that man in the bottom left corner, soiling himself on the floor like some kind of pathetic, mutated worm? When—if—he rises, he we stand a better man. [Reddit]