In 1989, Franz A. Wakefield invented the iPod, the iPhone, and iTunes. Then the FBI stole his trade secrets and he confided in Sarah Jessica Parker and now he's suing her and Apple...and my head's spinning.

It's a tale of quite the nutter and I can barely keep the facts straight. Franz A. Wakefield, the injured party, wants to head into the courthouse and face Apple, Inc. and Sarah Jessica Parker, who will certainly be shaking in fear based on the lawsuit:

The suit claims that Wakefield [...] developed a friendship with Parker and "made a trade secret deal" with her to commercialize the iPod classic, nano, mini, shuffle, video, touch and photo, as well as iTunes and the iPhone. The supposed agreement would have granted Parker 2 percent of gross revenues from the products. Wakefield said he asked the FBI to watch over him to ensure the security of his inventions and deal with Parker.

Apparently sexy Sarah must've been talked into cutting freaky Frank out of the deal entirely and told suave Steve all about what would later become Apple's products.

Frank's pretty forgiving though, he even wrote Steve a sweet note:

This letter is to serve as a DEMAND for payment. Otherwise I will seek legal recourse for the immediate cease and desist from the manufacture, marketing, and sale of all the iPOD, iTunes, and Iphone lines; along with pursuing damages from the products sold to date, unjust enrichment caused by the theft, enforcement of the agreed 2% gross revenues on all sales, and any other applicable damages or compensation.

Such a nice guy. I'm sure he'll win. [Apple Insider]

Photo by Celebrity Pictures