Your TV is trying to kill your children. Your DVD player is trying to kill your children. Your robot lawnmower is trying to kill your children. And now, your blinds—your soft roman blinds!—are trying to kill your children.

The recall, which covers virtually every roman shade and roller blind in the country, was prompted after a series of tragic strangulations—about eight over the last ten years, along with over a dozen injuries—were blamed on the blinds, which the children can become entangled in. In case you're like most other human beings and don't know the technical name for the thing that hanging in front of your windows, here's what Roman and roller shades look like:

On both types, it's the hanging drawstring that's most dangerous to tots. On the Roman shades, the strings running down the length of the fabric can be safety hazards too.

It's a recall prompted by some no-doubt horrible tragedies, and I'm sure the Consumer Product Safety Commission wouldn't have negotiated a recall this massive unless there was a real risk here, but in a video breaking down the various dangers of these blinds with the chair of the CPSC, ABC somehow managed to make this Very Serious Thing seem ridiculous. I quote:

Any loop is the enemy of children.

Recall all loops! This is the only solution. [ABC]