We have nowhere to go. said 19-year-old Sadia*, with tear-filled eyes. Her abusive older brother had forbidden her and her older sister (20) from going to university because he hated the idea of them going out and wanteded them to focus on chores at home.

Standing under the shade of a big tree near the university departments main gate, Sadia looked sideways as if checking whether she was safe and nearly whispered. He locked us up in a room. We jumped from the window to get here. But we dont have anywhere else to go!

Over the next ten minutes, while the rest of girls and boys called their cab rides, boarded university buses, and called their drivers to pick them up, all visibly helpless and scared Sadia could reiterate was that she had nowhere else to go

This was in 2017. Five years on, unfortunately, the situation is no better. Countless women suffer abuse at the hands of their family members parents, siblings, spouses or guardians. Saima Ali (shot dead by her husband) and Qurutulain Bureni (tortured to death by her husband) are just few of the many cases that have surfaced. In Khyber Pakhtunkhwa alone, 180 women were murdered in their households in 2018. In 2019, the figure rose to 217. Thirty-six women reported physical abuse at home in 2019, three times more than in 2018.

Every day the number of crimes against women increases. According to reports from March 2021, cases of violence against women and rape in Pakistan were doubled in the last six months of 2020 as compared to the first six months of the year 2021.

The light albeit dim at the end of the long tunnel of alienation and abuse is that women today are conscious of this mistreatment and are actively working to break free not just themselves but also those around them. They are eager to get educated and be financially independent. In 2020, womens participation in the labour force was 22.2 per cent.

According to Uzma Noorani, the Managing Trustee of Panah, a shelter for women survivors of violence, Financial independence is imperative for women; without it there is no moving forward. However, when women have to return to the same houses and partners, who very often believe they have a right to the womans income, financial independence alone becomes insufficient.

To be completely safe and free, and to grow as people, women must remove themselves from such environments and households. That, however, is an even bigger challenge. There is nowhere they can go.

The idea of women living alone and independent of their families is still an alien concept in Pakistan, shares Shumaila Roohi, a development specialist who has been living alone in Karachi for 9 years. However, Shumaila had to fly in her husband from another city to sign the rent agreement. The property dealer asked me if I was married and I said yes. When he found out my husband lived in another city, he immediately became uncertain. On finding out that even my kids wont live with me, he was almost in shock. So my husband came all the way from Rahim Yar Khan to formalise the deal. Now I live with two amazing flatmates to cut costs.

While there is no official data on exactly how many women own properties or rent their own spaces, it is clear that they are few and far between. A fair estimate can be taken from the fact that, according to the Pakistan Bureau of Statistics, there are only some three million female household heads as compared to the 28 million male heads. However, a number of brave women have managed to escape from abusive and detrimental households and have utilised a range of available options from renting or buying property to living in shared spaces or hostels. Each option, inevitably, comes with a set of challenges that women have to face.

The first option is to buy their own place, but unsurprisingly that is also the least practical for financial reasons, informs Maria*, a journalist in her mid-twenties. Most women who choose to move out are either running away from families or going against their express wishes and, therefore, have no financial assistance from them some of them even have to keep sending back money for an ailing parent or sibling.

How this situation affects women is visible from what Shakir*, an estate agent in Karachi, had to say one of the biggest problems with renting out places to women is that one never knows if theyll pay on time. And these preconceived notions make a womans journey to have a home/room of her own tedious.

Amna*, a 35-year old teacher from Karachi and the mother of one, found out one fine day that her husband had remarried and she was asked to leave his house. This house I had partially paid for working as a teacher, but we bought under my husbands name so its technically his house, she rues. My family refused to take me in because it was a love marriage. Amna then turned to real estate agents in the Gulshan-e-Iqbal neighbourhood of Karachi with whatever little savings she had.

One after the other, they informed me that getting a house for a single woman would be impossible because what respectable woman would want to live alone? One agent said that landlords did not want single women in their apartments because who knows what business they would end up involved in. One offered to rent a husband for me to allay the landlords concerns. Another messaged me late in the night telling me that I was beautiful and my husband a fool for leaving, narrates Amna, who eventually chose to remarry and had to part with her child to do so.

For women who choose to live away from families, living as paying guests or sharing spaces is ultimately the best option. Maria claims, It is a good idea to share an apartment with people because its really the safest. Living absolutely alone, especially, if youre in your 20s or 30s is crazy expensive and youre always scared. This way you know someone has your back if youre running too late or something.

Hafsa, a 38-year old freelancer from Lahore, opines, Assuming that a woman has sorted her finances and has somehow managed to find a landlord willing to take her in, she now faces a new set of challenges. But really, the biggest challenge I faced when I decided to leave my parents homes alone was safety.

According to Amna, while some landlords insist that the woman not be allowed to bring over her friends, they claim it is their right to come and visit unannounced to ensure that nothing shady is going on. And there would also be some who would try to hit on their tenants, assuming that a woman living alone will be easy.

Saima*, a 23-year-old freelancer who moved out last year, believes that neighbours and neighbourhoods are no better. My neighbours are always keeping an eye on me.

I think the biggest discomfort is just being single and looking for a place. Thats a big enough deterrent for many people to not rent out places. Somehow a single girl is a responsibility and must be up to no good, claims Hafsa, as she often hides the fact that she lives alone for fear that she may be stalked or harassed. Once my AC repairman, who knew I lived alone, decided to invite me to have sheesha with him and his friends. It gets pretty awkward at times.

On the other hand, Shumaila shares that the only problem that shes faced so far is that sometimes she gets terrible roommates.

But what happens if you dont have the finances to rent a whole place for yourself or even share the apartment? After all, sharing an apartment can also cost around Rs 20,000.

This is what Maria had to deal with. I had to move out at a moments notice because my dad wanted me gone the next day. I was so freaked out because I had nowhere to go. What do you do when you have nothing saved up and youve got to move out?

There arent many options for women. When they have to leave everything behind, a number of girls end up opting for shelters and hostels, offers Uzma Noorani.

But as she points out, shelters are few and far between. Even in Karachi, the largest city in the country, there are fewer than 10 shelters. Shelters can be a temporary stay, but we have rules that we cant forego because other women need to be protected. There are many times when the shelters become the first step for women seeking independence, to help them relocate to independent living to pursue their jobs or studies, she adds.

In Panah, an average of 30 to 35 women stay at any given time. Most of these girls are getting out of abusive divorces or households, and then they get married again and move out of here. But the problem is that there is always a dependency on men. What our women need is to be independent because whats the guarantee that the next marriage wont be abusive?

Most shelter house women from poor socio-economic backgrounds and are already strained for resources. They are constantly mired in controversy and women living in shelters are labelled as characterless, so people are unwilling to marry girls who have stayed at Dar-ul-Aman [a state-run shelter]. A report from 2017 claimed that women in Dar-ul-Aman felt they were no better than prisoners.

For working women, strict timings and rules prohibiting phones and internet access in the shelters are impossible to abide by, even though they are of paramount importance to the shelter authorities, who are often embroiled in legal matters on the behalf of the residents as well. Given these problems, hostels are slightly better options because they provide basic amenities to residents.

However, while they are excellent options for students, who often travel long distances to universities and do not have very hectic schedules, they are not permanent solutions for most women looking to make homes for themselves or for those who simply need space. Especially since some hostels dont want to host working women. Nasreen*, a 50-year old, who runs a small hostel for students in Karachis Gulistan-e-Johar tells, Im really not comfortable with working women. They have odd hours and can be a bad influence on younger girls. Keeping them is a risk I dont want to take.

However, as Maria rightly points out the desire to have ones own space, where one is comfortable or the desire to have ones own home, where one is safe albeit alone is not unique to a gender. Its also important to remember that women need to have each others backs. When I moved out, it was my friends who really helped me out and checked in on me regularly. Without them, it might have been impossible! she elucidates.

While a number of women in Pakistan are compelled to look for their own accommodation for the sake of escaping horrific circumstances, this does not necessarily have to be the case. A woman, as much as anyone else, should be able to move out for the simple reason that she wants to. It is incumbent upon each and every member of society to ensure that not only are women provided spaces, but that they are provided safe spaces. In this regard, Noorani suggests, One possible idea to achieve this is by having gated societies or apartment complexes for women. This would ensure that they are safe, while also removing the taboo from the concept of women living alone and exercising their agency.

*The names have been changed to protect identities

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No home to call their own - The News International