“In the quiet town of Springfield, noted for its substandard nuclear power plant and eccentric citizenry, Drs. Julius Hibbert and Nick Riviera frequently come in contact with Springfield’s everyman, Homer J. Simpson, and his family. Homer, who works at the power plant, is known for his love of donuts and Duff’s beer. Like the forces of good and evil battling for the soul of medicine itself, these 2 physicians are polar opposites. Julius Hibbert is an experienced family physician with a pleasant, easygoing manner, while Nick Riviera is an ill-trained upstart who is more interested in money than medicine. Knowing that appearances can be deceiving (and first impressions rarely correct), we explored this question: Which of these 2 physicians should Canada’s future physicians emulate?…The true medical hero for whom we search is Julius Hibbert’s foil, the enterprising Dr. Nick Riviera, an international medical graduate who attended the Club Med School. He practises with an enthusiasm that is matched only by his showmanship. Unfortunately, this has led to 160 complaints from Springfield’s narrow-minded Malpractice Committee, but artists like Riviera are rarely understood in their time. Dr. Nick, as he is known, may be a tad weak on anatomy. “What the hell is that?” he asked after making the incision for Homer’s coronary artery bypass. However, he does possess all the requisite traits for the doctor of tomorrow: he is resource conscious and he gives the customer what she wants… … In these turbulent times, we need a hero to guide us into the next millennium. As a profession, we must shed the dark past embodied by Dr. Hibbert — a wasteful, paternalistic and politically incorrect physician. Instead, the physician of the future must cut corners to cut costs, accede to the patient’s every whim and always strive to avoid the coroner. All hail Dr. Nick Riviera, the very model of a 21st-century healer.
“See you at the operating place!””

Read the full text here.

Thanks to Myrian for today’s ROFL!

Image: Hugh Malcolm/Canadian Medical Association

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