It’s CMAJ week on NCBI ROFL! All this week we’ll be featuring articles from the Canadian Medical Association Journal’s holiday issues. Enjoy!

“We describe the off-label use of a recreational device (the Super Soaker Max-D 5000) in the alleviation of a socially emergent ear condition.

A 45-year-old male complained of a profound reduction in his left ear acuity while staying at an island cottage in rural Ontario. His hearing loss was reducing his ability to hear his newborn son cry in the middle of the night, requiring his wife to carry out all late-night child care. As a result, correction of the problem was considered urgent.

The patient had been swimming multiple times a day for 6 days. He had had several ear infections as a child but was otherwise well. He admitted having used a Q-tip in his ear “once or twice” recently in the affected ear.

An otoscope being available, examination of the external ears was conducted. The nature of his problem was revealed as bilaterally impacted cement-like ear cerumen.

Neither a formal ear syringe, nor a syringe of any kind was available on the island. The day was very ...