How to heal your mind when your body won’t recover – The Independent

An incurable disease, by its very nature, sounds like an issue that cannot be solved. But perhaps the solution is less about a cure, and more about the willingness to accept the disease, physically, mentally and spiritually.

Accepting disease, or any of lifes problems, is fraught with mistakes and backward steps. But LaMoret, the subject of a new Netflix documentary about her chronic cystic fibrosis (CF), says its vital to fuck up along the way.

After graduating from the University of Southern California, Moret, 23, decided to embark on a journey to explorealternative healing methods inCentral and South America, convincing her best friend, Camille Shooshani, 24, to accompanyher. The film, La and I, documents their three-month journey, exploring medicines that could help treat Morets chronic illness.

From 15p 0.18 $0.18 USD 0.27 a day, more exclusives, analysis and extras.

CF is a genetic disorder that causes the body to produce too much mucus. It can build up in the lungs, digestive system and other organs, causing breathing problems and nutrient malabsorption in the gut. It also makes sufferers far more susceptible to infection.The condition worsens with age and, according to the NHS, only half of those with CF will live past the age of 40.

Acupuncture: Practised for thousands of years in China, the technique has become increasingly popular around the world, with over 4 million sessions provided in the UK a year. Treatment involves sticking hair-thin needles in different pressure points on the body to alleviate physical pain, reduce nausea and boost mental wellbeing.

Reiki: A Japanese method for stress reduction and relaxation, derived from the words rei,soul, spirit, and ki,vitalenergy, from the late 1800s. The treatment involves laying hands on a patient and letting energy flow from the healer. It is used to treat conditions from cancer to depression. Millions of people in the US and abroad have tried reiki in the past year.

Ayurveda: A 5000-year-old Indian medicine system that is based on writings that reference a natural and holistic approach to healing. It includes natural medications made with plants, change in diet and exercise. It became popular in the Western world in the 1960s, with rising popularity through the 70s and 80s. However, discovery of toxic metals in imported medicines reduced its popularity in the mid-2000s.

Forty is an age associated with career security, having young childrenand, typically, still being physically fit. For most in this age bracket, death still looms far in the distance. ForMoretand other chronic illness sufferers, death and life are intertwined.

Moret has spent much of her life in denial about her illness. As she was leaving home for the first time to attenduniversity, age 17, she had started taking less and less medication. This was partly inspired by her first experience with alternative medicine.

When she was 16, she and her mother travelled to Mexico to visit a biomagnetist. The method of usingmagnets to heal the bodydates back to the ancient Greeks. Magnets were and by some still are believed to draw illness out of the body. Despite no scientific research supporting their efficacy, Moret believed the magnets had healed her.

Five years later, as the film begins,Morethas again tested positive for pseudomonas, a common bacteria found in people with CF.Remembering her healing, Moret sought out another biomagnetist. The only one in California was in Upland, 30 minutes outside Los Angeles.

The film shows Moret andShooshaniarrive at a strip mall. The office they enter looks more like someones living room. Moret asks the biomagnetist if heknows what CF is. As he says yes,the camera cuts to him typing cystic fibrosis into Google Translate.

Moret in hospital in France she needs to visit every three months to have her lung function checked(Camille Shooshani)

This scene, and countless more throughout the film, raise the question: how much can you trust someone to heal you, especially when there is no evidence to back up their claims?

Moret tells me that believing doesnt mean beingblind. Alternative therapies, as much as they seek to heal the body, require you to give yourself up completely to them. Though that may be easier said than done, for those with diseases that have no cure, theyre willing to put aside their ego for the sake of healing.

When she was just 11 years old, Corinne Olson, now 24, was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis. It was a long and bumpy road to diagnosis. Initially, doctors thought it could be Lyme disease, and prescribed a cocktail of medications that included an immunosuppressant, steroids and antibiotics. Olsonlost a lot of weight very quickly and began noticing her hair falling out. She tells me: When I returned to [the doctor]and recounted the medications shed put me on, she was shocked and exclaimed that shed forgotten about which drugs I was taking at the same time, telling my mother and I that this combination was very dangerous.

Her jointsstill swollen and in serious pain, the experience left her feeling helpless. Like Moret, it wasonly when she moved to Coloradoto attend universitythat she became aware of andbegan to experiment with alternative medicines. Cannabis had just become legal herefor recreational and medicinal use and Id heard the buzz about CBD, so I began taking it in oil form. I immediately noticed the difference in my pain levels, but the most miraculous aspect was the significant improvement in my swelling. For years, my knees had looked like water balloons half the time and now they didnt. Finally, her disease was under control. The experienceinspired her to study medicinal healing.

Morets breathing treatments involve blowing into a plastic mechanism that measures lung capacity (Camille Shooshani)

When I met Moret nearly two years ago, I had no idea she suffered from CF. As Shooshani says while filming her,La isnt most people. She doesnt talk about cystic fibrosis. She refuses to take antibiotics. She almost never does her breathing treatments. La smokes.

Indeed, the film shows Moret smoking a cigarette, and more than once. Though the sight is jarring, given what we know about her disease, the shots are carefully placed. They illustrate her humanity and what it means to not be perfect, andshowthe joy of momentarily forgetting what separates her from anyone else her age. As Moret says, you dont have to be hyper-serious about the disease all the time. It doesnt invalidate what youre saying, it makes it more grounded. Shes definitely not trying to be the spokesperson for CF.

The film also seeks to ground the audience in their expectations of what the documentaryis going to be about.The majority of the film shows Shooshani filming Moret. Yet itis called Laand I, and its only at about 24 minutes in thatwe get to see who Iis. The camera turns back on Shooshani and in this moment, we not only see her, but ourselves, as if weve joined them in Peru. Moret likes this moment, because though we might think its all about her and her CF, theyreinviting us to look at our own problems, and what we might need healing. From this point on, were more connected with them, and it comes at the perfect time.

Olsons experience with alternative medicineinspired her to study it (Corinne Olson)

The crux of the film lies in the ayahuasca ceremony. All her other attempts at medicinal healing (biomagnetism and a brief trial with peyote, a psychedelic cactus) haveled up to this moment,for its mystery and reputation as a powerful hallucinogenic. Ayahuasca isa medicinal Amazonian tea brewed from a blend of two plants: the ayahuasca vine and leaves from a shrub called chacruna, which contains the psychoactive chemicalDMT.

DMT is sold as an illegal recreational substance in the UK and other countries. Unfortunately, this draws drug tourists to the Amazon seeking a high, not healing.

In fact, Moret and Shooshanileft their first location for the ceremony for this exact reason. Pisac, which lies in the Sacred Valley, is known as the alternative medicine capital of Peru. The streets are lined with shaman shops and billboards for ayahuasca ceremonies, often run by foreignersrather than locals. Shooshani saysit feels like a way to get something without having to commit yourself to the tradition and respect it.

Taking time to consider their participation in the market for ayahuasca, the women ultimately chose a ceremony run by an Amazonian shaman, where the profits went to his family and village. Additionally, Moret was going there to heal, to usethe plant in the purest intention. Inthis way, they were followingtradition.

At the start of the ayahuasca ceremony, the shaman, Ricardo Amaringo, describedthe nature of the plant, and how it heals. He told themthat since the start of humankind, there have been only two afflictions that have plagued us: blocks and psychological traumas. To overcome these, one must look inwards: When you take ayahuasca, you have to have in mind only one idea,the idea of your intention: I will see my body. I want to look at my body. I want to look at my stomach. I want to look at my trauma.

La and I is filmed as though the viewer is a third party on the trip (Johannes Heff)

One key difference between western doctors and alternative therapists is how they view the body. From what shes learnt, Moret tells me that healersview the body as a 3D object and theres no distinction between spiritual and physical illness, basically they are the same thing; its just that they manifest on three different planes,on an emotional level, a spiritual level and a physical level.

Western medicine focuses on the corporeal and often discounts the psychological trauma of illness. Emily Goddard, 35, suffers from multiple sclerosis (MS); her diagnosis was sudden. In November 2017, I woke up one morning and I couldnt move the right side of my body. I went to the hospital and they thought Id had a stroke when you have paralysis thats the first thing that people think. I was in hospital for a week having loads of tests done and they looked at the MRI of my brain and saw I had lots of damage which was historic, meaning it had to be something neurological. She was diagnosed in January 2018, and for three monthsshe was unable to move her right side. Her doctors told her she may regain movement, butit would dependon her type of MS, and they were unable to give her an exact prognosis.

Goddard was diagnosed with MS last year (Emily Goddard)

Goddardregained full movement.When I spoke with her, like Moret, her condition had no obvious outward presentation. Though her hands quivered ever so slightly and once she forgot a word, these could be attributedto someone perfectly healthy.

Like Moret, Goddard has found it difficult to accept her condition. In fact, when she recovered from her paralysis, she carried on with her life as normally as possible, living in a state of denial that she even had the illness. Though she suffers problems every day because of MS, she says, most of the time Idont think I have an illness.

Despite the physical ailments, she says the hardest part for me has been coming to terms with it mentally. To combat the mental struggle she faces, Goddard has decided to take psychedelic mushrooms this October. Extensive research has been done on the positive effects of mushrooms on mental health, and inspired her to try them. She feels that her diagnosis has made her feel like a more negative person, and that in a way, its stunted her personal growth. In some ways its made me really bold in other ways its made me afraid of everything.

Though shes never been a drug user, Goddardfeels that mushrooms can offer something western medicine cant. They allow you to connect more deeply with your body and mind. She feared that by going to a psychologist, they would prescribe her antidepressants. All antidepressants do is numb you and Idont want to be numbed. I dont want to have any sensations taken away from me because MS takes that away from you anyway. Shed rather be present and fully experience her mental health problems rather than try to stifle them. While western medicine focuses on taking away painful sensations, alternative therapies delve deeper into the discomfort, to solve it from within.

For those without chronic disease or pain, it can be easy to forget that theyrenot perfect.Most of us assume our bodies are always going to do what we need them to. When this sometimes isnt the case, it can change your view on things.Like shaman Amaringo says: you must look at your body.

At the end of Laand I, were left wondering what happened with Morets disease. Did the ayahuasca heal her? Well, it depends on your definition of healing. By the end of the film, that will have likely changed.

Though she did not experience lasting physical changes, during the ceremony, Moret reacted to the medicine differently. Everyone was throwing up, butI was actually coughing which was really weird because Inever threw up in the sixtimes I took it. In one ceremony, she saw no visions, but her body shook uncontrollably. I was just coughing, coughing, coughing more than any time Ive done my breathing treatments. The plant was making me shake. The breathing treatments for CF are vibrational therapy, which helps the body cough up mucus. Shooshani couldnt believe that ayahuasca had done the same thing.

Her CF may be unchanged physically, but Morets mental state has shifted.Her biggest takeaway from the experience wasto accept whatever comes to you. For me the hardestone was accepting the illness. Because I couldnt accept it I couldnt accept a lot of other things. Ayahuasca showed her how to accept it. She was able to see the life she was given as her path and that she was lucky to have received her life and all the struggles that come with it. She believes that it is through this acceptance that you can take on all problems in your life, physical or otherwise.

The six day-long ayahuasca ceremony caused Moret to cough and shake (Camille Shooshani)

As much as the film is an exploration of healing, it is more an exploration of the self. Moret and Shooshanidont seek to prescribe, and thats important to note. Rather, they assert that healing is incredibly, deeply personal. Everyones path is different

They dont want you to watch this film and take ayahuasca. Rather, they say, if youre meant to take the plant,it will call you.

Olson, who studies medicinal plants, saysplants can offer benefits that traditional medicine simply cant: Their phytochemicalmakeupsare like complex symphonies of molecular interaction which work in synchronicity with each other and with the bodys chemistry. Western medicine has discovered the most potentphytochemicals in these plants, isolated them, synthetically replicated and mass-produced them as pharmaceuticals distributed to the public. But honestly, its just the violin, just the melody, instead of a whole orchestra creating something that is biologically designed to work with and metabolise in the body. Life recognises life.

Laand I is available on Netflix and you can Larn more about the film here