This is the life of an Apple Genius: Computers caked in toxic waste, screaming customers, dead cats, raging homophobes, and oh yeah—getting punched in the face.
We're protecting the identity of the Geniuses who relayed these tales of total cockbaggage with pseudonyms, since some of them might still work for Apple. If you want to see all of the stories on one page, just click here.
Now tell us, which Genius deserves some free pizza to ease their suffering, like we did for abused Genius Bar customers? (Sorry we can't send you guys a medal, sheesh.)
Which horrific story most deserves free pizza?(survey software)
- The G-Bound RC Car Drives On Water [Rc] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Nanoparticles Can Rip Your DNA Apart Without Ever Touching It [Nanoparticles] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- My Favorite Top 10 List Today: The Dumbest Evil Geniuses Of All Time [Evil Geniuses] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- 5,000 Volts Is More Than Enough Power To Crush a Soda Can [DIY] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Computers Are Scary, But Steve Allen Is Here to Help [Retromodo] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Pangolin Backpack [Bags] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- New For iPhone: 2 Balls 1 Cup [IPhone Apps] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Office Building Or Home To A Super Heroine? [Architecture] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- This Inflating Bra Commercial Left Me Confused Yet Reaching For My Wallet [Nsfw] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life [Humor] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Dealzmodo: $100 Xbox 360 at Amazon, More Electronics Deals All Day Long [Dealzmodo] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Gigabyte BIOS Update Fixes iPhone Syncing Issues [IPhone] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Hello Facebook User, I'm a Nigerian Prince in Need of Assistance... [Facebook] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Zune HD Update 4.3: Speedier Browser, Predictive Text and More [Zune Hd] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- 8-Bit Wedding Invitation Acknowledges the Marital Bickering to Come [8-Bit Wedding] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- The iPhone Nano Rumor Strikes Again: Coming to Verizon in 2010? [Rumor] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Building a NAS? Skip the Performance Drives [Nas] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Microsoft COFEE, Some of the Most Illegal Software You Can Pirate [Hacking] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Robot Cow Rectum: For Educational, not Recreational, Purposes [Robots] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Watch Jonathan Ive's Segment in Objectified [Apple] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- BlueBeat’s Innovative Defense That Will Never Hold Up in Court [Music] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Nokia Booklet 3G Landing November 15 at Best Buy [Nokia] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Latest Snow Leopard Developer Build Breaks Hackintosh Support... Again [Hackintosh] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- The Cité du Design Certainly Lives Up to Its Name [Architecture] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- 64% of Men Don’t RTFM Before Calling Tech Support [Tech Support] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- MIT Media Lab: Electronic Wallpaper, Conductive Threads and More [Fashion] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Famous Paintings Reproduced In Coffee [Art] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- How Far Can 'Medical Tourism' Go? [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Actuarial Escape Velocity [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- A Rebuttal to 'Peak Oil' Doomsday Predictions [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Reverend Jeremiah White,...I mean, Wright [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Energy vs. Financials, A Divergence of Historical Extremes [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- US Ideological Distribution, 2008 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Ten Biotechnology Breakthroughs Soon to be Available [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Nanohealing Material Heads to Market [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Solar Revolution is Near [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Why the US Will Still be the Only Superpower in 2030, v2.0 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Culture of Happiness [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Surfaces : The Next Killer Ap in Computing [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- More on the Economics of Medical Tourism [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Ten Myths in America [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Can Buildings be 'Printed'? [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Pre-Singularity Abundance Milestones [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Futurist's Stock Portfolio for 2009 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- A Future Timeline for Economics [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- A History of Stock Market Bottoms [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- A Few Electoral Statistics [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- It's Official : The Recession Began in December 2007 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- How We Decisively WON in Iraq in 2008 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- 2008 Technology Breakthrough Roundup [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Futurist's Stock Portfolio for 2008 - RESULTS [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Why Government is Set to Extinguish Silicon Valley [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Solar Power's Next 5 Game-Changing Technologies [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The End of Rabbit Ears, a Billion more Broadband Users - Part II [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Guantanamo Meets Geneva Convention Rules [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Nanotechnology : Bubble, Bust, ....Boom? [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Form of Economic Recovery [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Impact of Computing : 78% More per Year, v2.0 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Wolfram Alpha : The Birth of Web 3.0 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Energy vs. Financials, RESULTS [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- SETI and the Singularity [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Eight Ways to Supercharge the US Economy [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Next Big Thing in Entertainment, A Half-Time Update [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Video Conferencing : A Cascade of Disruptions [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Timing the Singularity [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Mobile Broadband Surge : A Prediction Follow Up [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Next Two US Recessions [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Google Promotes Droid Day With Rare Homepage Ad [Google] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Microsoft Confirms Improved Xbox 360 Warranty Seal [Blockquote] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- OpenOfficeMouse Is An 18 Button Freak, But I Want It [Mouse] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- 10 Classic Analog Games Defiled By Digital [Tgif] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Wire Your House With Ethernet Cable For Better Home Networking [DIY] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Next Room Eavesdropping Device Is Way Better Than a Drinking Glass [Surveillance] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Steve Jobs and Sarah Jessica Parker Sittin' In A Courthouse B-E-I-N-G S-U-E-D [Lawsuits] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Folding Titanium Spork Is the Ultimate Portable Eating Utensil [Spork] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Queen of Google: "I Do Code All Night!" [Google] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- This Week's Best iPhone Apps [IPhone Apps] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- DIY Star Trek Bluetooth Communicator Almost Makes Regular Bluetooth Headsets Look Stylish [DIY] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Intel Swears That It's Gonna Stop Its Firmware From Bricking Any More SSDs [Intel] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- H20 Audio's Waterproof iPod Nano Case Is Built for Surfer-Videographers [Accessories] [Last Updated On: December 12th, 2009] [Originally Added On: December 12th, 2009]