Look, we know there are just as many cockbag customers as there are dickhead customer service reps. So, Geniuses, tell us about your most ridiculously asinine customers ever, and we'll give you free pizza. (Don't worry, we'll keep it anonymous.)

The most horrific true story wins free pizza as a consolation to sponge up your rage. Leave 'em in the comments (if you're brave or have already left the hive) or email me with the subject "Genius Bar Customer Cockbag."