On Monday, Donald Trump, president of these United States, told reporters attending a briefing that he had been invited to throw out the first pitch for the Yankees in their series against the Nationals on August 15.

It would have been a momentous occasion. A chance to see the strength of our leadership on full display for the world. A stable genius on the mound, undoubtedly throwing a 100 mph fastball right down the middle of the strike zone. A pitch so incredible that the greatest hitters of our generation would say that is the most incredible pitch Ive ever seen in baseball history, and there is no way in hell any professional athlete could ever make contact with that thing.

Of course, liberal bias and fake news is trying to ruin what would have been an inspirational moment for the millions of Americans affected by coronavirus or lost loved ones to the virus.

On Tuesday the New York Times published a salacious article alleging that the Yankees never asked Trump to throw out the first pitch. That our president, bastion of truth and paragon of virtue, made the whole thing up. Frankly, its disgusting. They say its because the president was jealous of Dr. Anthony Fauci, who threw out the first pitch for the Nationals at their home opener. As if Donald J. Trump would ever be jealous of some nerd in a lab coat. Fauci doesnt even own any hotels.

The unassailable truth is that our president, who fights every day for us, isnt able to throw with his cannon-like arm, which people have called stronger than a howitzer and twice as deadly because hes addressing the biggest crises this country has every seen.

If we have any hope of remaining the world leader in Covid-19 deaths we need the steady leadership of the president at this critical time. Hes far too busy to throw out a first pitch right now.

Not to mention, the real issue here is that every president throws out a first pitch. Its boring, its passe, its old hat. Donald Trump is not any president, hes the president. Which is why he shouldnt throw out the first pitch for the Yankees ... HE SHOULD BE THE STARTING PITCHER FOR THE YANKEES. I dont care how many millions of dollars a baseball team pays for an arm, there is absolutely nobody who has the kind of giant, throbbing brain that Trump has. Pair those smarts with that arm, which has been compared to an elephants trunk, and theres no telling what he could do.

Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV all of them shocked and awed by the velocity of his perfect pitches. Entire sides struck out in minutes. Towels being thrown from the dugout with opponents saying we quit, this is just impossible, but no, theres no quitting in baseball so you need to endure your beat down for the entire 16 minutes it takes, but youll get to go home early for supper, because Trump will hit 15 home runs and embarrass you in the process.

Advancements in science will need to take place just to capture Trumps pitching on TV. It will be impossible for modern cameras to track the ball. People will turn their heads and say did he throw it yet? because the ball will leave his hand with such velocity and force that it will break the sound barrier, and instead of the signature crack of Mach-1 being shattered, instead it will sound like an eagle screeching the word FREEDOM at the end of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert.

I, for one, am ready.

Link:

Donald Trump shouldnt throw out the first pitch for the Yankees, he should be their starting pitcher. - SB Nation