Parenthood was once thought to be inevitable a destiny for healthy fertile adults.

No more. Many people are opting out, a life choice that still provokes debate.

The number of babies born in the U.S. last year fell to the lowest level in 32 years, with younger women especially having fewer kids. Americans are now having fewer children than it takes to replace the population, a trend mirrored in other countries.

It doesnt surprise Amy Blackstone, a sociology professor at the University of Maine and author of the new book, Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence.

She and her husband Lance decided not to have children years ago after simply not feeling the pull towards parenthood. They check in with each other every year to make sure theyre still both on board about opting out. Famous women who've also made the choice include Ina Garten, Cameron Diaz and Helen Mirren.

For her book, Blackstone interviewed 70 child-free men and women and surveyed more than 700 about their experiences. She found women still feel the brunt of the stigma.

Men sort of get a pat on the back and theres more joking about, Arent you lucky that you dodged this bullet? Blackstone, 47, told TODAY.

Whereas for women, its the, Oh, you poor thing, I cant believe youre missing out on the most meaningful experience that a woman can have. You must be so sad and lonely.

Here are eight more of her findings:

Blackstone: The cost of living and having a baby we know thats a particularly difficult issue for millennials who are facing all kinds of college debt. Certainly, having a child has an impact on the environment and I know thats a reason that millennials have shared for their choice.

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Other top reasons include the desire for autonomy, spontaneity, freedom and the ability to travel.

Blackstone: This quote from a 44-year-old married woman resonated for me: I worry that if I had a child Id become a terrible partner because Id be so focused on being a good parent.

This doesnt mean child-free people necessarily have perfect relationships or better relationships than parents. But in my own case, I do recognize that I would be giving something up in terms of my ability to feel close with my partner and nurture that relationship.

Blackstone: In 2015, Pope Francis said, The choice to not have children is selfish.

If were going to put that label on the child-free, then its a label that needs to be shared across any group of people whove made a choice about the life that they know is right for them.

But isnt that what were all doing? Even parents, if you ask them why they had children, would tell you that they wanted kids because thats the life that they envisioned for themselves.

Alternatively, we can choose to abandon the selfish label and decide its OK for people to make a life choice that is best for them, whether that be parenthood or non-parenthood. Maybe neither choice is selfish.

Theres an impression that child-free people dont give back, or arent giving to their communities or making a difference in the world. Frankly, nothing could be further from the truth. We know from research that the child-free are involved in their communities theyre about as likely as parents to volunteer.

Blackstone: A quarter of the child-free people I interviewed actually chose careers that require them to be involved and make a difference in childrens lives. Many of them are teachers, social workers, pediatricians. There are all kinds of ways the child-free are engaged in kids lives and made a choice to do that.

Some child-free people dont like children and in that case, the last thing we want to do is push them into becoming parents.

Blackstone: I have not talked with anyone who feels regret about their choice.

I have had family members who I know have been worried for me, but we should accept when people tell us they dont want to have children. Parenthood is a role that is best fulfilled when its one thats chosen. It takes a lot to be a good parent so if somebody doesnt feel that pull, thats perfectly OK.

Blackstone: When people say we are missing out on something, thats absolutely true. But I would also turn it around and say its possible that parents are missing out on some aspects of the lives that child-free people enjoy. We cant do it all its impossible to have every life experience.

So yes, we will miss some experiences, but I dont think that because that is true, that it necessarily follows were unhappy. Im very happy with my decision. My husband and I have a life that we love.

Blackstone: These are questions that we all should be thinking about as we age, whether we have children or not.

In terms of the child-free, many have been creating a nest egg to help them be able to provide for themselves in their old age. And were seeing more and more examples of The Golden Girls-style living where older adults are sharing households with each other.

Its a mistake to assume having children means one will have a person to care for them in their old age. Not every adult child cares for their aging parents, research shows.

Blackstone: I would love it if we came to understand that the child-free have families. I count my husband and me as a family.

Child-free families fulfill the same functions that families with children do. We create households as a safe space that provides an emotional connection and an opportunity to recharge. We engage in social reproduction, which involves anything that people do to help rear the next generation. For the child-free, that means being mentors and friends to children.

A. Pawlowski is a TODAY contributing editor focusing on health news and features. Previously, she was a writer, producer and editor at CNN.

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Why arent millennials having kids? 8 insights into the ...