The environmental movement has gone too far. One of the main draws of the traditional Slinky was its metallic, yet smelly, rings, expanding and contracting like a steel accordion that only played one note. And now, cardboard.

Not only is this "environmentally friendly" slinky worse than a real Slinky, it costs $18! A Slinky is three fraking dollars at Walgreens, or free if you dig through your uncle's old crap. I won't stand for this, hippies. [Uncommon Goods via Nerd Approved]