The crucifixion and death of a man called Jesus

“In summary, I would suggest that Jesus was unable to carry his cross because of his cruel treatment and scourging. He then fell with the 100 pound crosspiece on his back and was unable to break the fall because his outstretched hands were tied to the crosspiece. This resulted in blunt chest trauma and a contused heart. On the cross the workload of the heart was greatly increased due to multiple factors, but primarily the increased effort necessary to breathe. This resulted in a rupture of the free wall of the heart, which caused Jesus to cry out in a loud voice and suddenly die. This cause of death is confirmed for us by the sword pierce to the side which resulted in the flow of blood and water. In effect, that was a brief and legitimate postmortem exam. JESUS WAS DEAD! THAT WAS FRIDAY! SUNDAY WAS COMING!”

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Thanks to Heather G. for today’s ROFL!

Photo: flickr/nikoretro

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