Ask The Salty Waitress: My drink is hundreds of dollars. Must I tip 20%? – The Takeout

Photo: Eduard Skorov (iStock), Graphic: Nicole Antonuccio

Hey Salty! I like to think of myself as a decent restaurant patron who is polite, not too needy, and tips well. I get really good service at the places I frequent and they seem really happy to see me and my wife.

I turn 50 this month and like scotch. I found a place nearby that has a special 40-year-old VERY rare bottle thats $248 a pour. I plan to get some to reward myself for half a century on this lovely blue rock of ours, and was wondering how much to tip.

If I was getting a special scotch in the $20-$30 a pour range, Id probably tip $5 for each and a few bucks for a less expensive one. Given the percentages, a 20% tip on my special birthday pour is $50. Since Im willing to pay $248 for a single drink, the $50 isnt going to cause me any financial harm, but Im still frugal and think that $50 might be a bit much to tip on fairly low effort (pretty much the same as a $10 scotch, really, and that would be a few bucks tip at most).

This special one-time blow to my wallet will probably be accompanied by dinner, appetizers, a few more drinks, etc. I expect around a $400 tab for my wife and me ($150 food, the rest my ridiculous scotch) which might muddle things if I tip a little less than the 20% or 25% on the full check because over half the tab is a single drink. I dont mind being a little generous, but its MY birthday, not a random servers day to hit the tip lottery. Or is it?

Im probably over-analyzing this, but wanted your opinion on how much to tip for my once-in-a-lifetime silly expensive drink.

Getting Old

Dear Cryptkeeper,

Let me be the first to wish you a happy birthday. Youre aging like a fine scotch yourself, Im sure.

It sounds like you have quite the evening planned with a very specific drink order in mind. (Cheers.) It also sounds like youve thought a lot about how those plans will factor in the tip. In fact, I think youve thought about it all too much. Youve thought yourself in circles when theres really only one simple, golden rule to follow: leave a 20% tip. A 20% tip is standard, its perfectly polite, and for someone like you, whos specifically wondering how to navigate a tipping situation, its the magic number that will never do you wrong.

To prove it, lets dive into the numbers youre throwing around here (hey, if you can over-analyze, so can I). If youre accustomed to tipping $5 for a special scotch in the $20-30 a pour range, then what youre saying is youre accustomed to paying roughly a 20% tip. If you tip a few bucks for a less expensive one, youre adjusting your tip to be roughly 20% of the cost of your order. If your $10 scotch warrants a few bucks tip at most, then guess what? Youre probably leaving a 20% tip, maybe even a little more, on a $10 drink. Ta-da! The golden rule strikes again.

I know, pumpkin, I know: its a harder percentage to stomach when the sales total starts creeping up. Once the dessert plates are cleared, you and your wife (who Im hoping has an equally nice birthday celebration planned for herself) stand to owe a tip that could have bought entrees for a family of four. Its not nothing! But consider these the trappings of ordering what sounds like one hell of a special drink.

Heres another reason not to skimp: Servers at many restaurants tip out their bartenders and food runners based on a percentage of sales. Translation: the total dollar amount of the bill is what dictates the percentage passed along to the runner who brought your tray of food and the bartender who poured your drink. You might decide what percentage of tip to leave on the total bill, but the percentage that the server is expected to pass along to these supporting cast members of your dining experience holds steady. So when you skimp on the tip, it hurts your server more than you might think. (And if youre thinking, Okay then, Ill just order this drink directly from the bartender on a separate tab before dinner, youll still have this tipping dilemma, because a bartender has to divvy up tips with the bar-back. Theres no cheating your way out of the golden rule, honey.)

Youve made the decision to go all-out for your birthday, and youve made the calculation that you can afford it. So when it comes to that frugal nature of yours, just find outlets for it everywhere besides your fancy meal. That bill, plus tip, is someones wages, even if the bulk of its cost was served from a shot glass.

I hope you two lovebirds have a great night. And following the golden rule ensures your server will have one, too.