My brother worships two things: God and Subwoofers.
We were raised to be quiet, well-mannered Lutherans. But for Erik, there was nothing quiet about the gospel. In church, he sang as loud as he could. He didn't care what anyone else thought – he was reaching out to the Lord and it was our problem if it made our ears ring.
One Sunday, the rumbling bass and baritone voices in the choir sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus," and Erik felt God's presence. That rattle and boom was God's voice literally vibrating his heart. We were still young but it decided everything: he would do the Lord's work and it would be loud.
He enrolled in seminary as soon as he could, spent some time in the Holy Land and discovered that a low-end 25 watt sub could not adequately convey the genius of either John Paul Jones bass work on Led Zeppelin IV or the sermons of that other John Paul. Both required an upgrade to a 125 watt Miller & Kreisel MK II sub.
God understood.
My brother must not have mentioned his acoustic theory of divinity when he was ordained because the Bishop assigned him to an elderly congregation in rural Washington State. The greeting committee could hear Pastor Erik coming from miles away – the sound of a booming bass floated across the raspberry fields and through the apple orchards. Things didn't quiet down after he parked his car in the church's gravel parking lot. Erik rejects silences with a roaringly good-natured laugh and a voice that would feel at home in the Super Dome. The senior citizens responded by permanently notching down their hearing aids.
Pastor Erik didn't mind - he just spoke louder and pointed out some immediate problems with the pretty, white steepled church. First, the 20 year old sound system was not up to the task of conveying God's word.
"This is the Word of God we're talking about," he said. "It needs dignity and a high power 12-inch subwoofer with a neodymium magnet and a vented enclosure."
The Church Elders blinked. Pastor Erik was not like their other ministers.
This young whippersnapper wanted to take this flock in a new direction. It didn't matter if they needed walkers, dialysis or a hip replacement to get there– they were going to hear and feel God's word.
He met any resistance with an out-pouring of Lutheran wisdom. Why spend thousands of dollars upgrading the sound system for a congregation of only 80 people? Because in 1541, Martin Luther himself said, "Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world." Pastor Erik watched his congregants closely and asked if they were willing to run the world's greatest treasure through a dusty old sound board that muddled the low range? Would Martin Luther want that?
The Elders decided to approve a budget of $9000 and Pastor Erik set to work.
His first move: bring in Jim Hall, an acoustician who has spent 42 years installing commercial audio systems in the Northwest. Hall and the Pastor huddled near the altar and laid out a battle plan. Hall wanted to deploy a four speaker TOA HX-5 variable dispersion system above the altar to ensure speech clarity. It's what he typically recommended for small churches.
"But it won't rock, will it?" the Pastor asked.
Hall was a little surprised – most churches were content with the HX-5 system. But this minister was sharp. He knew the HX-5 couldn't deliver the low end. The Pastor was asking Hall to push himself, to dig deep and that could mean only one thing: the FB-120B.
The 120B is a crunk-ready 600 watt sub guaranteed to strip the paint off the steeple of any church silly enough to order it. It's exactly what Pastor Erik was looking for.
The system took eight hours to install. They added a 16 channel Mackie 1604 VLZ3 mixing board, an EAW CAZ 1400 dual-amp for the HX-5 and an additional CAZ 800 amp interlaced with an Ashly cross-over for the sub. The final touch: two 1 inch tweeters over the choir.
"It's got to be the best system for a church its size in the Northwest ," Jim Hall says.
To test it, Pastor Erik grabbed the nearest CD he could find: a copy of Veggie Tales left behind by a pre-schooler. He pressed play and the voice of Larry the Cucumber boomed across rural Washington as if Abraham himself had just come down from the mountain to tell the world that he had a new hat and it was made of lettuce.
Pastor Erik heard the music and it was good. It didn't matter what the Cucumber was babbling about. The tune sent its shock waves through his bones and brushed across his soul like a divine wind.
Now and truly, God was in da house.
Joshua Davis is a Contributing Editor for Wired Magazine who wrote about deep sea cowboys and the world's largest diamond heist. (Both of which are being adapted for film.) He's also the lightest man to ever compete in the US Sumo Open.
- The G-Bound RC Car Drives On Water [Rc] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Nanoparticles Can Rip Your DNA Apart Without Ever Touching It [Nanoparticles] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- My Favorite Top 10 List Today: The Dumbest Evil Geniuses Of All Time [Evil Geniuses] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- 5,000 Volts Is More Than Enough Power To Crush a Soda Can [DIY] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Computers Are Scary, But Steve Allen Is Here to Help [Retromodo] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Pangolin Backpack [Bags] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- New For iPhone: 2 Balls 1 Cup [IPhone Apps] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Office Building Or Home To A Super Heroine? [Architecture] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- This Inflating Bra Commercial Left Me Confused Yet Reaching For My Wallet [Nsfw] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life [Humor] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Dealzmodo: $100 Xbox 360 at Amazon, More Electronics Deals All Day Long [Dealzmodo] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Gigabyte BIOS Update Fixes iPhone Syncing Issues [IPhone] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Hello Facebook User, I'm a Nigerian Prince in Need of Assistance... [Facebook] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Zune HD Update 4.3: Speedier Browser, Predictive Text and More [Zune Hd] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- 8-Bit Wedding Invitation Acknowledges the Marital Bickering to Come [8-Bit Wedding] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- The iPhone Nano Rumor Strikes Again: Coming to Verizon in 2010? [Rumor] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Building a NAS? Skip the Performance Drives [Nas] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Microsoft COFEE, Some of the Most Illegal Software You Can Pirate [Hacking] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Robot Cow Rectum: For Educational, not Recreational, Purposes [Robots] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Watch Jonathan Ive's Segment in Objectified [Apple] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- BlueBeat’s Innovative Defense That Will Never Hold Up in Court [Music] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Nokia Booklet 3G Landing November 15 at Best Buy [Nokia] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- Latest Snow Leopard Developer Build Breaks Hackintosh Support... Again [Hackintosh] [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2009]
- The Cité du Design Certainly Lives Up to Its Name [Architecture] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- 64% of Men Don’t RTFM Before Calling Tech Support [Tech Support] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- MIT Media Lab: Electronic Wallpaper, Conductive Threads and More [Fashion] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Famous Paintings Reproduced In Coffee [Art] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- How Far Can 'Medical Tourism' Go? [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Actuarial Escape Velocity [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- A Rebuttal to 'Peak Oil' Doomsday Predictions [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Reverend Jeremiah White,...I mean, Wright [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Energy vs. Financials, A Divergence of Historical Extremes [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- US Ideological Distribution, 2008 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Ten Biotechnology Breakthroughs Soon to be Available [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Nanohealing Material Heads to Market [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Solar Revolution is Near [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Why the US Will Still be the Only Superpower in 2030, v2.0 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Culture of Happiness [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Surfaces : The Next Killer Ap in Computing [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- More on the Economics of Medical Tourism [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Ten Myths in America [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Can Buildings be 'Printed'? [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Pre-Singularity Abundance Milestones [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Futurist's Stock Portfolio for 2009 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- A Future Timeline for Economics [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- A History of Stock Market Bottoms [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- A Few Electoral Statistics [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- It's Official : The Recession Began in December 2007 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- How We Decisively WON in Iraq in 2008 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- 2008 Technology Breakthrough Roundup [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Futurist's Stock Portfolio for 2008 - RESULTS [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Why Government is Set to Extinguish Silicon Valley [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Solar Power's Next 5 Game-Changing Technologies [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The End of Rabbit Ears, a Billion more Broadband Users - Part II [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Guantanamo Meets Geneva Convention Rules [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Nanotechnology : Bubble, Bust, ....Boom? [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Form of Economic Recovery [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Impact of Computing : 78% More per Year, v2.0 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Wolfram Alpha : The Birth of Web 3.0 [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Energy vs. Financials, RESULTS [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- SETI and the Singularity [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Eight Ways to Supercharge the US Economy [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Next Big Thing in Entertainment, A Half-Time Update [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Video Conferencing : A Cascade of Disruptions [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Timing the Singularity [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Mobile Broadband Surge : A Prediction Follow Up [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Next Two US Recessions [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Google Promotes Droid Day With Rare Homepage Ad [Google] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Microsoft Confirms Improved Xbox 360 Warranty Seal [Blockquote] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- OpenOfficeMouse Is An 18 Button Freak, But I Want It [Mouse] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- 10 Classic Analog Games Defiled By Digital [Tgif] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Wire Your House With Ethernet Cable For Better Home Networking [DIY] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Next Room Eavesdropping Device Is Way Better Than a Drinking Glass [Surveillance] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Steve Jobs and Sarah Jessica Parker Sittin' In A Courthouse B-E-I-N-G S-U-E-D [Lawsuits] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Folding Titanium Spork Is the Ultimate Portable Eating Utensil [Spork] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- The Queen of Google: "I Do Code All Night!" [Google] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- This Week's Best iPhone Apps [IPhone Apps] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- DIY Star Trek Bluetooth Communicator Almost Makes Regular Bluetooth Headsets Look Stylish [DIY] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- Intel Swears That It's Gonna Stop Its Firmware From Bricking Any More SSDs [Intel] [Last Updated On: November 8th, 2009] [Originally Added On: November 8th, 2009]
- H20 Audio's Waterproof iPod Nano Case Is Built for Surfer-Videographers [Accessories] [Last Updated On: December 12th, 2009] [Originally Added On: December 12th, 2009]