I use jargon. Here is some of it:

Yahble

Yet Another Huge Binder of LegalesE

These are binders of documentation, policy, plans, and law that you can’t throw out Or Else, but neither you nor anyone else ever reads, and generally are entirely worthless in practice despite being Very Important in theory.

Yahbles collect in the system like lead or mercury. Lovingly, they are passed along the foodchain until everybody dies of heavy metal toxicity induced bureaucratic insanity.

Government agencies and consultants love to make Yahbles. When you force a pile of hot, sweaty consultants into a small, closed space overnight, expect a fresh steaming new Yahble in the morning, there! revealed to thee yonder in the glaring flouresent din of 7:48AM upon ye humble coffee-stained hard white plasix conference table.

It’s also understood that Yahbles are gradually churned into existance from the bowels of The Back Office, but like invention of a new race or ethnicity, nobody has ever witnessed the complete Yahble evolutionary process of a generally accepted Yahble outside of an artifically imposed environment.

HIT

Health Information Technology

This is a common industry term in health-related information technology. In practice, it refers to all the information transmission and processing generally associated with “The Health Care Industry” that doesn’t really work well or that isn’t well understood. Stuff that actually works is just called by its real name, or generally: “software.” Note: HIT does make for cool-sounding portmanteau like “HITman” and “HITbox.”

For example:

Mozilla Firefox web browser: firefox, or just “the browser”

Command-Response terminal simulation system to display text and pictures from a server on another machine over a network that only runs on Windows XP and requires the installation of several vendor-specific plug-ins: HIT

===

Linux: linux, or just “the server”

???: HIT

===

email: email

web 2.o patient physician medical communication cloud computing enterprise suite: HIT

Bubblecon

Internet bubble convention

Bubblecon is some marketing convention for some new hyped technology or industry. Attending bubblecons is a popular means by which one may accumulate a significant collection of business cards titled “CEO,” “Founder,” and “President” —and sometimes, all three at once!

Fact: nobody has ever gotten funded because they attended a bubblecon. I did get laid, though. So YES: in my rigorous scientific sampling of exactly myself, you are more likely to get LAID by a GIRL at a NEW TECHNOLOGY BUSINESS CONVENTION than you are to get your tech startup funded with odds of 1/0 == infinity %. That’s science.

BIZDEV!

Business Development, often predicated by “Vice President” (VPBIZDEV!)

BIZDEV! is always appended with an exclaimation point.

BIZDEV!s love bubblecons because they are concrete and documented evidence of attendance at a work-related events. That’s because documented attendance means work, which is why they are the CEO and visionary entrepreneur, and definitely not bullshit, which is why they are not delusionary aging jock losers that couldn’t cut it at a regular sales job. This Very Important Job is colloquially known as “networking,”and it is the Most Important Job at all startup companies. Also, see “ideas” and “twitter.”

Solid State

in a HIT context, it means a unit of health care organization that is maximally automated with the utmost elegance and efficiency. It is the platonic ideal of how “things should work”. Generally, see Solid State.