Planet X.  Well, well, well.  Are we talking about any unidentified planet in the solar system, or the one hiding behind the sun waiting for a chance to pop out and surprise us?  Let’s talk about the mystery planet hiding behind the sun.

NASA/Hubble This is V838 (a star) supposed to be proof of Planet X

People, that’s mathematically impossible.  I’m not talking improbable here, I’m talking IMPOSSIBLE.  Even if it were possible… guys, we’ve seen the back side of the sun.  There’s no planet hiding there.  Unless the d*** thing has a cloaking device, we would have seen it by now.

Let’s get real here.  The whole Planet X/Nibiru thing came from this Wisconsin woman, Nancy Lieder.  She’s special.  See, some gray extraterrestrials called “Zetans” implanted a receiver in her head so she could get all this first hand information (of course they’re gray).  They talk to her.  The told her we would be wiped out in 2003.  Wait, let me look at my calendar.  Okay, we escaped that one.  Whew.  Miss Nancy has a website called ZetaTalk if you want the 411 directly from her.  Of course, she’s now changed the date of our demise to December 2012.  You know what I think about that.

Okay, I just deleted a bunch of stuff that Tom won’t let me put in because it would probably get me sued, but I’m not too worried about that.  I double-majored in college, but my MINOR was law.  So bring it on, baby girl.  Let me just say I think she should be prosecuted for the garbage she’s spewing, but idiocy isn’t a crime.

The name “Nibiru” came from Zecharia Sitchin, by the way.  He believes we’re descended from ancient extraterrestrial miners.  He tries to distance himself from Ms Lieder, but she won’t leave him alone.

Here’s the good part:  Planet X is supposed to be roughly four times the size of Earth, and when it blows by it’s going to stop the rotation of the Earth for five days.  Then the rotation with start again.  (cough cough)  Have I already said “mathematically impossible”?  Do you have any idea how much energy it would take to brake the Earth?  Then, what starts it again?  Put a tennis ball on the table in front of you and tell me how long it takes it to start rotating.  But hurry, I’m kinda old, I doubt I have the THOUSANDS OF YEARS to wait for that tennis ball to start rotating on its own.  Which it won’t.  Ever.  Even after thousands of years.

Now, for the idea it has this really strange orbit that takes it wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-y out into the Oort cloud, then every 3600 years or so, it comes back.   3600 years.  Uh huh.  If you do the math, that puppy would have been shot out of the solar system on it’s first orbit.  But, let’s just say it doesn’t have to follow the laws of physics.  Funny, we can see billions of light years away, but we can’t see something four times the size of the Earth in our own solar system.   Oh, and hey, 3600 years is within our human history.  I don’t remember reading about it, but I guess I could have missed it.  You’d think someone would have mentioned that 3600 years ago the poles physically switched places and killed most of the life on Earth.

Ms Lieder advises everybody to destroy their pets before Planet X comes by.  No, I am serious… she says to euthanize your pets.  And people actually do it.

I can’t say what I think about that because this is a family site.  I can curse fluently in five languages, and I find that is not enough.