The hereditary MP Ian Paisley, Jr the Tory-supporting Democratic Unionist mini-me handed down his Bible-bashing fathers name and North Antrim seat enjoys a sharp sense of humour. He was overheard by my snout quipping at a cross-party dinner, People say Im an Orangeman. Im not an Orangeman. Im a Lemonman. Were much more bitter.

His dad transitioned from an uncompromising no surrender hardliner into one of the Chuckle Brothers with Sinn Fins Martin McGuinness. Maybe a humour gene was passed on in the sons DNA and one day hell learn to love Jeremy Corbyn. Or maybe not.

The Blond Ambition Boris Johnson bumbled on to the Commons terrace, schmoozing Tory MPs for votes when Theresa May is dumped. But it didnt go as smoothly as the Foreign Secretary intended. While the bag carrier Conor Burns was begging uninterested backbenchers to fawn over the floppy-haired ego while sipping warm Prosecco, Vicky Foxcroft, Labours Deptford Depth Charge, exploded Johnsons pomposity. Wandering over faux-bemused, she sneered, I know you, dont I? Remind me who you are. Johnson ummed and ahhed until he was rescued by Conservatives suppressing sniggers.

Rather unkindly, the Daily Mail suggested that Tommy Two Dinners Watson had blocked Pippa Middletons view of the tennis in Wimbledons royal box. The real scandal was the Labour deputy leaders failure to notice that the much-photographed woman sitting behind him was the derrire queen. On the upside, surely thats worth a Kensington Palace dinner invitation from an appreciative Kate, the socialites less famous sister.

The twinkle-toed Vince Cables impending coronation has forced the Lib Dems last hope to pull out of an autumn ballroom dancing competition in Blackpool. No greater sacrifice can the leader of a minor party make than to cancel his sashay for the sake of a hopeless cause.

When the Tory cad James Gray emailed MPs to announce that he wouldnt stand against Julian Lewis for the defence committee chair, it triggered a barrage of abuse. One recipient screamed, As if I ever would vote for Gray, the pompous old hypocrite.

The word in Westminster is that John McDonnell has confessed to the Kensington MP, Emma Dent Coad, that he got carried away when he claimed the Grenfell Towers tenants were murdered by political decisions. The semi-apologys gone down well in Labour ranks.

Para Dan Jarvis has declined a reshuffle job on Jeremy Corbyns front bench. Postings are for the few, not the many.

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The real value of space travel is recognising the beauty of our planet - New Statesman