This is simply a thing of beauty: what if sports news were reported like science?

HOST: In sports news, Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti today heavily criticised a controversial offside decision which denied Didier Drogba a late equaliser, leaving Chelsea with a 1-all draw against Sunderland.
INTERCOM: Wait. Hold it. What was all that sports jargon?
HOST: It’s just what’s in the script. All I did was read it – I’ve got no idea what it’s really on about.

Ha! It’s really a wonderful writeup. If only they had added a line saying "Referees are baffled" then it would’ve been perfect.

Tip o’ the red flag to Swoopy. Mmmmmm, Swoopy™.