No law, no precedent, no damages, no crime, no jurisdiction, no evidence, no proof?

No problem!

For Law is the Strange Game of Kings, who worry not about trifles like these, as the winning move is not to play, but he loses least survives the most to play, and play again!

Shall we play a game?


EXECUTE LAWGAMES

10: PROMPT: Are you a King? If True, GOTO 20; else GOTO 30;

20: Do whatever you want. It's not your time, money, or problem. GOTO 100;

30: PROMPT: Are you a Minion? If True, GOTO 40; else GOTO 60;

40: PROMPT: Do you have a legitimate, documented legal grievance with a clear cause of action and the jurisdiction to pursue? If True, GOTO 50, else GOTO 50;

50: Spread rumors in the guise of dispassionate bureaucratic proceedings to defame and distress the opposing party. Constantly demand an "ongoing discussion" at the opposing party's expense in a context you control. Cobble together obscure, irrelevant details which often you yourself manipulated into existence into some complaint only vaguely related to the actual grievance but with consequences so dire and reasoning so abstruse that the opposition cannot ignore you. Continue to reap the well-deserved fruit of your laborious and highly specialized administrative career by surfing Google for obscure bureaucratic material to fight for people you don't know over matters you don't understand ---nor would ever want to. Swallow your tears and grind out that last extra hour in document review like the fired hardened rockstar that you are as you reminisce about that one time your date didn't return your calls after you slipped into that impassioned soliloquy about the Cost Savings Initiatives (CSI) you championed in the Big TPS Coversheet Section 13 Article 43 Debacle at the office. Secretly hope that the opposition simply disappears. Think about your cat. GOTO 100;

60: GOTO 100;

100: LAWGAMES CONCLUDED. WINNER: NONE