Here at The Planet, work has been proceeding in order to bring reliability, scalability and burstability to the crudely conceived idea of a hosting and communication platform that would not only supply inverse binary data for use in an internet protocol transfer request, but would also be capable of automatically and redundantly synchronizing cardinal base-qualifiers to streamline the load times of a business’s Web site. Such a configuration is commonly known as the hostatulator.

The original infrastructural configuration had an internal architecture of prefabricated aluminum cabinetry, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the pentametric fans in devices in close geographic proximity would exhaust rectified cooling agents multidirectionally … The primary consumption involved uncompressed lotus-o-delta rays reconfiguring the standard operation of the panendermic semi-boloid coded computing sector, but inefficiencies were noticed when the thermodynamic coupler connected to the nonreversible sonic transfiber caused the differential components to misdiagnose the ‘up’ end of the RAM modules. By sequentially incorporating a combination of hostatulators and retro-serverations, amazing results have been observed [see schematic below for preliminary calculations].

Basically, by reengineering the way the seventy-four cloud accelerators navigated the channels of the Cisco grouting router drives, a simple operating system reload brought about unbelievable improvement in per-core output and rotor slipstream variance … The consolidated, hardware-independent dependencies were all but eliminated.

While our slight modifications involved the forced diathetical retrograde of the data center’s coefficient of efficiency and its temperature phase disposition, the annular network bandwidth deviation was kept below four exabytes during peak usage. This traffic was measured with the aid of a Dell metapolar refractive hypervisor, and with the latest beta firmware release, the transcendental hopper dadoscope’s KVM output completely modified the terminal response and alleviated any need for conversion by the quadratic requantifier. By restoring the fundamental database with an emergency serial loop, the hierarchy immediately became an oligarchy, and the workload was redistributed much more efficiently.

Undoubtedly, the hostatulator has now reached a very high level of technical development, and they are immediately available for custom solution provisioning at the low price of $43,234.44 per server per month.

Thank you.

-Kevin

P.S. We’re looking to spread the word about this unbelievable technological innovation. The first person to record a video of with the above content will get an awesome T-shirt! Post the video on YouTube and link to it in a comment here. That is all.