By Debra Bruno By Debra Bruno March 2 at 6:00 AM

interviews by Debra Bruno

Veronica Branch, 56, a government procurement expert, describes her dream date as an educated man who has traveled some, has his own means and wants a companion who is his equal. Alan Oakes, 59, a government IT manager, is looking for someone who laughs easily and is intelligent but not too engrossed in their work. The pair agreed on everything necessary to make a great long-term relationship, and that this thing called sparks is for crazy youngsters. Or is it? If not sparks, then what would it take for them to make a romantic connection? We sent them to Ophelias Fish House on Barracks Row to find out.

Veronica: I got there early. Im always early. He was just a little late, and he said that time management was one of his issues.

Alan: She was a charming, attractive lady. There wasnt a love connection, thats for sure, however, and I say that because the type of lady Im attracted to is someone who is fairly active.

Veronica : He was well-dressed and looked friendly.

Alan: She was a widow. Fortunately for her, she had been in a very good marriage and lost him about three years ago. We talked a lot about that. It was still very obvious that the pain of losing her spouse was present.

Veronica : I could see why we were set up. We had a lot of things in common. Hes a government worker, and so am I. Hes financially responsible, and so am I. He has children and I have children.

Alan: Shes originally from Philly, and my ex was originally from Philly.

Veronica : He said he was a Catholic, and Im a Christian. I go to a nondenominational church.

Alan: We were together about two hours, and for probably the first hour we discussed our past relations. I had been married about 15 years and divorced about 12, but I said my ex and I are friends. We occasionally this is true meet and do things together.

Veronica: I told him Im a widow. Its been only three years. But Im good. God is good. Ive worked on becoming a full person. And with grief support for a couple of years, it really helped, spiritually, physically, mentally. Its not a difficult conversation now.

Alan: It didnt bother me. I wanted her to feel comfortable and relaxed, and I didnt mind talking about it. That was a large part of her conversation her husband, who she said was her best friend. I complimented her and her marriage, and that she was in such a satisfying marriage.

Veronica : He talked about his ex, that they have a great relationship, and he talked about his daughter. Hes a proud father. There werent any lulls in the conversation.

Alan: Once she mentioned how close and how satisfying her marriage was, I wanted her to know that there wasnt any current angst between me and my ex. That sort of cleared the air, that there was no lingering anger over any past relationships.

Alan: Ive been dating more than she had. She said I was her first date in three years. She asked candidly how she could spot a man who was, for example, not sincere in dating.

Veronica : We also talked about the politics of the day. We both have a little anxiety about our country right now.

Alan: I asked her about her definition of the chemistry thing. I told her with the women I have met it seems like ladies want bells and whistles on the first date. I told her thats basically not true of men. Even though we are visual creatures and our eyes can light up, men arent into that instant chemistry.

Veronica : I feel that only crazy young people can have that kind of craziness. Not that I think you cant find love, or that its not romantic, but its a little bit more evolved.

Alan: Were mature people who are, I guess, out in the singles dating world, so we agreed, based upon our situation, that we dont need to beat around the bush.

Veronica: Were there sparks? That is so young. I would say we were in the friend zone.

Alan: I think neither of us felt the wow factor. But shes a gracious lady. She asked to stay in touch, and we swapped numbers.

Veronica: I called a friend of mine to come and get me. You cant be too safe, and you just dont know if people are crazy.

Alan: Her escort was already there. We went outside and he honked, and she introduced me to him. We shook hands, it was all very gracious, and I gave her a hug, and off to the vehicle she went.

Veronica: I could have driven, but if things go south, now you know where I live and know what my car is.

Alan: Ive dated ladies in their 50s who are angry at their ex-spouse and angry at the dating scene. This was not like that at all. It was a nice, friendly date.

Veronica : He brought me a flower and a valentine card. A good date is a good date.

Rate the date

Veronica: I would give it a 3 [out of 5]. Like I said, we were more in the friend zone.

Alan: Id say a 4, in terms of friendliness, relaxation and respect for her.

Update

The two have not been in touch since their date.

Read the original here:
Her theory: Chemistry is for the young - Washington Post