Date Lab: Shared philosophies, but what about chemistry? – Washington Post

By Interviews by Michele Langevine leiby By Interviews by Michele Langevine leiby March 9 at 6:00 AM

Interviews by Michele Langevine leiby

Bekah Eichelberger, 23, a nonprofit theater administrator, says that since her last serious relationship ended, she has been open to trying something new. Anna Kark, 24, an international development officer, is polyamorous. The pair share an interest in Marxist theory, activism and Shakespeare. We sent them to the Pub & the People in Bloomingdale to find out whether they could form their own collective.

Anna: I wasnt sure how I was going to be able to find Bekah because when I got the email I actually was uncertain what Bekahs gender would be.

Bekah: She had this really nice, pretty blond hair. When I saw her I was like, Yeah, this is good.

Anna: I asked if she wanted a hug. I think we complimented each other on our respective makeup choices.

Bekah: I hadnt been on a blind date probably in five years. The way it typically works for me on like Tinder or OkCupid ... you set a date. And you also have time to creep on people, right? Stalk them. Thats something we both admitted to doing. This is weird not having the ability to do that. I liked not having that ability.

Anna: One of my favorite parts of the conversation was we both agreed we were going to leave a ridiculously large tip because we both felt strongly about service providers. So that got us talking about capitalism and its inevitable destruction.

Bekah: She does burlesque performance, and Im an actor [and] shes an actor as well. So we do have this slightly nerdy [side]. Literally we were talking about Marxist theory on our date.

Anna: We both like Shakespeare a lot. She is really interested in practical social justice movements. ... She and her friends sent pizza to a bunch of protesters and lawyers at JFK [airport], and I thought that was really cool.

Bekah: I signed up for Date Lab about two weeks after my long-term boyfriend broke up with me. I was emotional and I wanted to get back at him. But this was months ago. I completely forgot I had signed up for it until I got an email. ... That desire to do that to my ex-boyfriend was no longer there, but I still wanted to go for the good time.

Anna: Shes been out with women before and knows that shes attracted to women, and thats great. She just doesnt have a lot of experience with women. ... I date one person right now pretty seriously, and I have other casual relationships. Im not looking to be exclusive.

Bekah: Shes not traditionally monogamous. ... I am more traditional, but I think thats because Ive been told I should be, rather than this is exactly how I want to live my life. Im at that stage where Im experimenting with relationships. Im very open to new things.

Anna: Ive been polyamorous my whole life. Ive only had one monogamous relationship. I think at some point in my life I was sleeping around and then I started sleeping around with more communication and, you know, trying to be very compassionate to people.

Bekah: Something that impressed me about her: She was very confident. She knows what she wants, right? And Im not one of those people. Im working on it, but Im not there yet.

Anna: I really like casual sex or making out with strangers in bars, so it wouldnt make sense for me to be dating someone exclusively. I dont feel like theres some type of arbitrary boundary that dictates what my behavior is supposed to be.

Bekah: I wouldnt say I was head-over-heels attracted, but I definitely thought she was a good-looking person.

Anna: I would say that my type is people who are not intimidated by me. She has a great sense of humor, but she was a little bit intimidated by me.

Bekah: I was a combination of intimidated and curious. When I go on dates, Im physically affectionate if I like [someone]. I want to hold their hand ... play with their hair. And I didnt feel any of that. My attraction was not manifesting itself that way.

Rate the date

Anna: 2 [out of 5]. But a very kind and gentle 2. Ill friend her on Facebook.

Bekah: 2. Wed probably talk more, but theres no romantic connection.

Update

Bekah and Anna became friends on Facebook.

More here:
Date Lab: Shared philosophies, but what about chemistry? - Washington Post

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