INTOUCH

A mismatch in libidos can doom a marriage. Understanding the chemistry of love can help mismatched partners enjoy a healthier, happier relationship.

One of the questions I'm asked most frequently concerns couples with mismatched libidos, where a husband wants sex much more often than his wife. "Does he really love me, or does he just want sex?" is a wife's common reaction. At the same time, a man can become very frustrated trying to find the answer to "Why does she always refuse me? Doesn't she love me anymore?" At first glance, many people might consider this situation as a trivial issue hardly worth arguing over (at least among conservative Thais). But for many couples, the mismatch wreaks plenty of marital havoc.

Intimacy is one area of significant differences between men and women. Generally, a woman needs to form an emotional connection to her partner in order to feel ready for sexual activity.

For a man, sex is necessary to create an emotional connection to his partner. This helps explain why husbands typically need sex more often than wives. However, to more fully appreciate the differences, it's important to know how hormones shape the different behaviours of men and women.

RELATIONSHIP CHEMISTRY

Many people misunderstand the role of hormones; they tend to believe hormones are only related to cancer or sex. In fact, hormones are chemical messengers that travel throughout the body coordinating complex processes, including growth and development, metabolism, fertility, and most other functions the body relies on to stay alive and healthy. Hormones also play a key role in puberty-related changes and immune system health, and they can affect individual behaviour.

Our libido, or sex drive, is included in the functions controlled by hormones. I'd like to look now at the specific hormones that affect libido.

TESTOSTERONE

Testosterone, the main male hormone, is produced primarily by the testicles; it plays a key role in male puberty and reproduction and is powerful enough to boost a man's libido in very little time. Testosterone is also referred to as a sex hormone since it affects both male and female sex drive.

Original post:
Understanding the chemistry of love